RE: A Dead Poems Society Production, Round 4, Contest and Community Building
Powerful language and symbolism, @devinalivaudais.
Something dark crawls between the lines. Daddy's been evil. As I read your poem and found those little birds, I thought about defenseless children and wives being abused. The poem really got me to feel.
Your use of apostrophe in the second stanza plus the archaic pronoun to speak directly to the Fairy Queen is genius, for it takes the reader both to the ongoing event and to old times--at once! I loved that transition.
Finally,
I step into a mushroom ring
and wait for the lights to bring me back to thee
you asked for a price
in order to grant my wish
and I said I would give away -what was left of me-
This is something left out in children's bedtime stories, the price. Terrible! (Powerful words).
P.S. I might be a little sleepy, but I could not figure out whose hands are "their hands" in the second to last line. If you please, tell me. Thanks ☺
Hi, dear @marlyncabrera, as usual, your skills as a sharp reader fascinates me. I'm glad that you liked this experiment of mine (I have to insist that I'm not fond of writing poetry but I try it anyway). And as for your question, "their hands" relate to the bad daddies, it was supposed to be a metaphor but I had two misspelling errors in the poem (which I realized just now) one of them was that I wrote "daddys" instead of "daddies", I get that's why you end up confused in that line.
Note to self: I have to be more careful with my writing from now on.
Thank you for reading! <3
Well, that makes sense. Thanks ☻ I think it's cool you've brought horror into poetry. Makes me want to try it out.