Memoirs Of A Bus Stop - Constrained Writing Entry
“Is this the right stop for number ten?”
“Yeah, here, let me...”
“Oh thank you love, my feet do ache, I only get out once a week since Hector died, and i’m not as steady as I once was"
“Aw now, you look too young for that!”
“Isn't that nice of you, well i’m 87 in two weeks and I reckon i’m doing better than most.”
“Are you doing anything nice for your birthday?”
“Oh yes, my niece, about your age, is baking me a cake. She is such a great baker, she makes these fancy cakes and sells them all over! Oh but they are so beautiful, I told her ‘I don't need all that fuss’ but she insisted, she is so sweet. The whole family are coming over. It’s the first since my husband Hector passed. 68 years we were married, and he was still there on my 18th, he gave me such a kiss, he made me blush like a tomato, I thought my dad was going to throw him out for that one.”
“Oh I bet you heard about that for weeks!”
“Too right I did, but then Hector asked for my hand three weeks later. Him and Dad never took to each other, but I didn't care back then, he was so charming. He never lost that. He had that cheeky sparkle that never went away. The kids want me to move out of our house, downsize yet again, but I told them never again. I am not packing my life up and joining the spinsters in housing complexes, I would much rather go in peace in my own house, with my own garden.”
“I could understand that, it’s where you live”
“And it’s where I will die thank you, just like my Hector. They don’t like to hear me talk about it, but I have to be practical now I am on my own. That’s why I still get my own shopping, my Katy is always offering to take me to the supermarket with her, but I do like getting out and having a walk around town as well you know. Then I can get my pension, and go to the library, chose myself a few books to read.”
“I know what you mean, I don’t know if i’m ready to give up my freedom”
“Oh I was a wild one myself when I was your age, I very nearly said no to Hector and went off to explore the unknown”
“Sometimes you just need adventure, what made you change your mind?”
“Some good advice. So are you visiting someone up here? I don’t think I’ve seen you on the bus before”
“Just visiting a friend, taking a bit of a scenic break to reflect”
“Well there is a great path up the peak, you can go along the ridge and make a day of it. We used to go up there most weekends in summer.”
“I love walking, it isn’t the same without a dog though”
“I do miss having a dog myself, oh it has been a good four years now. Me and Hector, we had dogs nearly all our married life, I just can’t get out to give one the exercise now”
“They are a lot of work, but they are worth it, it is nice to think I will have a dog again, when I settle down and have a family”
“You are far too young to be thinking about that! Go out and live your life, have a few adventures. That’s what I keep telling my niece Katy, her and boyfriend come and see me every wednesday, I keep telling her to go out into the world, she doesn’t want to settle down and have kids right away!”
“You must have settled down fair early, had kids?”
“I wouldn’t call what we did settling down, we didn’t have Luke until I was gone 30.”
“Did you ever regret getting married so young?”
“Well no, of course not, it wasn’t all perfect mind, but the ups and downs are what make the ride - well that’s our bus”
“I think I might wait for the next one, I don’t want to get there too early, nice talking to you”
“You too, take care pet”
“Welcome back. Well that was option three, that’s all we have for you today. You can always come back tomorrow to see how things may have changed”
“That’s ok, I think I have been doing that long enough, no matter how it changes, I always seem happy. I'll be at the church tomorrow.”
Ever since I was a teenager, and spent a lot of time having conversations with really interesting old people at bus stops, I have wanted to write a book of short stories with that title, so I was really glad when I finished this and realised I could use it. I had so much trouble writing only in dialogue! Phew but hopefully, as I tried three stories, I got a good bit of practise. The story of a world where timetravel is normal, but you can only visit the current potential future. Meaning you can visit your future self as a stranger to see how your current time line will turn out, at some point, you have to stop wondering and take a plunge.
This is my entry to @svashta 's constrained writing contest where the challenge was to write a story in just dialogue. A tricky one this week but check out all the entries under #constrainedwriting
Photo Credit by Pixabay User RadonRacer who only has two images so far, the other is a beautiful field.
In the previous story of yours I saw, you had pickled cactus, right? and yet here you are are, if I'm not mistaken, in England? "Pet" is good - the north of England then, although "two weeks" instead of "fortnight" gives you away. Does that come from reading or experience? Again jumping nicely through the hoops you've been faced with. There's never any doubt who's speaking, not so easy to carry off in such a long, unbroken exchange. Well done, lass!
Thank you very much! I was a bit worried about that, so I am so glad you were able to follow it!
Ahhhh I am so impressed, I am actually from the north of England, I have lived in both Cheshire and Yorkshire, although I have also been listening to The Secret Garden on audiobook recently which has a lot of regional dialect. Although I hadn't noticed how much less I use the word fortnight, it must be because of the game and hearing it used for that so much. My Nana would definitely have said fortnight lol
I'm from Salford myself, now living in Cumbria (Penrith). So I take no credit for noticing, though I wonder how many of your US readers noticed your change of voice. How long is it since you made the change then - did you move when you were still very young? Don't quite follow your meaning about "the game". Am I being stupid?
It is an online shooting game that I believe is fairly popular right now, not that I have ever played it.
I grew up in Cheshire, went to uni in Yorkshire, and moved back to Cheshire, I am surprisingly under travelled, but I do watch tv from all over the world so I heard a lot of americanisms. My regional roots normally only show in my poetry, you must have heard of John Cooper Clarke being from Salford? I grew up with him and the liverpool poets like Brian Pattern. It is almost surprising what a great area it is for poetry and literature! Cumbria is such a beautiful part of england, the national parks are amazing to live near, I have visited a few times, not just for the kendal mint cake either lol
I'm now slightly confused about where in the world you are - which I suppose is the internet for you. I'd assumed the US (because of the pickled cactus) but now you say you've picked up Americanisms from watching TV around the world.
Tragically I'm only a few years younger than JCC and used to see him quite often around town when I worked in Manchester in the 70s - stick thin and Dylanesque, always on his own. Metaphorically we both grew up on:
Nowadays he's to be found being his drily humorous self on comedy panel shows and recently made an album of old-style covers with the guy out of the Stranglers.
Take care pet :o)
https://tinyurl.com/y8xbo8tj
What a great story. I've ridden buses for years and there are many a great story to be heard. Wonderful.
Thank you so much, I don't miss riding the bus overall, but I do miss the tales strangers would tell!
amazing as usual, all the best I'm sure you'll get the gold this time :)
Thank you very much, it was a tricky one and there are so really good entries this round, but crossing my fingers - thank you! :)
You say you've talked to random people on busses? How awesome is that! :D
I do/did somewhat the same, only I've taken the train instead. Always hated busses for some reason.
Other than that, I think your story perfectly reflects a real life conversation with one of the elders. You definitely do have some experience ;)
They do seem to always talk about stuff as if you know what it's about (meaning, she mentioned Hector right from the getgo, didn't even explain who he was or anything)... Very well done!
Thank you very much for your entry!
Thank you so much, I was struggling to get realistic dialogue going so I ended up drawing heavily on personal experience. I love how candid people are with strangers, I have had a few conversations on trains but the real gems have been at bus stops. I had a really interesting conversation with an angry woman in subway a few weeks ago. She was complaining about nosing people she knew wanting her to tell them things and then launched into telling me sooo much personal stuff. There is something magical in the sanctity of strangers <3
I am so glad I did this, I often have stories with so little dialogue, it was really good experience. Thank you for the contest!
Yeah, very often do we more easily open up to perfect strangers than we do to our closest friends/partner/... . It's sad, really, isn't it? How we try and put up a barrier and not let the people we love inside... :|
Awesome! :D No problem at all! :D
This reminds me of an elder man who still comes to the YMCA. He had to give up his house to live in a smaller place - it was best for him and his wife. He tells me that the old folks he stays with don't get out much. This man still drives himself to the YMCA almost everyday.
The woman you wrote about seems to be living in a more manageable place to be living alone. I think it is cool that she wants to go to the after-life in the same place Hector did.
I have met so many older people who wished they didn't have to downsize, it is such a sad and common story, people wanting to die in the place they lived but not being able to. Really they can get a new lease on life not having to manage a house far to big for them, but it must be so hard to let go. You must meet all kinds of interesting people at the YMCA, I am always blow away by the tales of 'mundane' people you meet in passing :)
Loved this! It is incredibly difficult to write only in dialogue. I had attempted this prompt but didn’t get a chance to finish it before the deadline.
Great job!
Thank you, yeah I really struggled as well, I ended up trying a few things, I wasn't sure if there was enough story to this one, so I am so pleased it did well :) I have done that a few times, it would be great to read it if you do finish it, although you may get distracted by the next prompt, I am already dying to give it a go!
There’s definitely enough story! It feels like a real conversation and that’s beautiful. :)
I would really like to finish what I started and if I do, I’ll be sure to post it. The new prompt is really interesting. I can’t wait to see what ideas come out of it!
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