Engaging understanding and consensus in the workplace

The first thing I always try and remember is that people almost always think in black and white terms and moreover according to perceptions based on nothing more than hearsay or imagination. Its the unconscious attitude that if someone else said it then it must be true and especially if it conforms to already entrenched ideas or has some form of negative implication for someone else. In my experience this occurs very often in the workplace.

This is partly because people are generally afraid of each other, they enjoy feeling superior because it masks the fear of being wrong or seen to be weak. A negative story is also a fine way to justify a situation, pass on the blame or make out that one is helpless against the ignorance of others.

In fact the reality is often something quite different and can only be approached with an objective attitude, which requires a level of conscious thinking. For most people the closest one can get to this is to try and understand something from another person's point of view, well yes... easier said than done.

Black and white thinking does not require too much effort and this is another reason it is so often found to be the default view of many, it is the path of least resistance but also the path to illusion. At first to try and instil understanding seeing something from as many angles as possible is helpful. With better understanding there is also a greater chance of consensus as people will accept each other and their story if they feel understood and justified (safe) themselves.

It is easy to see that when there is no real understanding, having a point of view becomes an exercise in defensive justification which can never lead to real consensus, but probably just end in an argument.

What do you all think about this question of understanding others?

Do we need to offload our own baggage first before we even hope to engage in understanding someone else and if so how can this be done I wonder?

I feel that it needs some kind of preparatory work and then much like any worthwhile exercise it requires actual effort when in the midst of it. You wouldn’t go to the gym without first doing a warmup, and then when you get there it’s only worthwhile if you make the effort to lift the weights right?

I’m really curious to know how others approach this...send me a comment I’d love to chat more about it.