Welcome to my post apocalyptic life Dec3 2019

I have been in relapse for a total of 3 weeks now - the pain in my hands has become consistent and I have been having heart issues (due to CNS issues ) off and on every day now. The problems with my hands are affecting my ability to type, clean stuff and do necessary chores . I was hoping that this was just a phase and that i would snap back but sadly i think this might be the new normal . For now I have to accept this and adapt .

This does not mean that i am giving up, quite the contrary but i need to make adjustments and might need help making some of them possible. I want to get a litter robot which is crazy expensive but from the reviews I read and talking to other disabled people is a game changer when taking care of kittehs - when i have funds again in January I am going to try to see if I qualify for their payment plan with is 45$ a month ( the total amount the thing costs is 499$ and an caution 50$ for an extended warranty
see litterrobot here
If I do not qualify i might have to result to asking for help here but we shall see how things go first.
I am also going to get some disability friendly cleaning gadgets to make things easier (and maybe in spring shoot for one or two little irobots (robot vacuums ) to stay on top of things but they are luxury ) .

The second thing i am going to do is look for a speech to text software that works well and works on a mac as typing is becoming a disaster as many who communicate with me on messenger can attest to. Dragon dictation which used to be one of the best no longer does mac so if anyone has any ideas please let me know - I need to be able to use it with word , for emails , internet and messenger and several other social media platforms. this is essential to my survival as i do everything online and i have no humans who assist me where I live . I still have 5 senior dogs and 5 ketches (2 of them seniors as well ) to take care of and while I cannot take in any more new kids under the current circumstances i will not abandon my fur family - no matter how bad it gets fro me health wise. I know some have been upset with me because i refuse to take in anymore fur people, but i know my limits and refuse to put myself and any fur family in a situation that could potentially threaten our survival. I already have to beg for help when major vet expenses come up, how is taking in more going to help anyone? It is not and if you cannot see this it is your problem not mine.

Back to my health. I have been reading up on studies from the mayo clinic and Harvard medical school on the use of supplements in combatting, halting and in some cases reversing nerve damage. while all seem to agree that using certain supplements do show some help the degree in which it can help is still debated. that being said as my body reacts so violently to most standard medication, as i refuse to take narcotic I am now going invest in taking 2 of the most potent compounds Stabilized R-Lipoic Acid and Acetyl-L-Carnitine . These two in combination have shown to reduce pain and inflammation of nerve tissue, regulate blood pressure and glucose household (which I have issues with although i am not diabetic - mostly attributed to the fact that i am vegan ) . These extra cost are going to be a strain on my already very tight budget but i need to get better or at least try to halt, or slow down the progression of this illness that is eating me alive. And yes of course a very small part of me is dreaming that i fall into the 0.3 percent that report a total reversal of symptoms - a girl can dream right ?

Besides this I finally have to make good on my plans to go low fat vegan - I need to lose weight. I am beyond fat. it exasperates my health issues - I need to get rid of the weight - especially because I might actually be filmed in a music video in spring for a piece I did in collaboration with a friend of mine - and if I have to see myself like this on film I will hide in a deep hole in the earth. It will also be strange to see my disabled self full view on camera it will make things a lot more real with is scary but maybe necessary to finally deal with the issue and acknowledge it.

Some Time this month i will be posting a xmas wishlist of things i will need for the furkids (both needed and some frivolous) as well as some cleaning supplies I might need to maintain our home.
If you have read this far you obviously care so thank you for that <3

_{Image powered by @enginewitty}

_{(Image credit Dave Renike and a portrait of the late jubilee made by myself turned into this here universal truth meme)}

_{Image Credit}

_{art courtesy of @PegasusPhysics}

Member of EMA

_{this little girl was made for me by @barbara-orenya}