You Need Your Tribe to Expand Your Perspective
News Flash: You're human. Your ability to perceive and evaluate a situation is rather limited. That should come as no surprise to anyone without a god-complex.
But maybe you're still a little angry about that?
Our opinions are informed by all kinds of subconscious beliefs, past experiences, and hidden motives. While it is perfectly normal for a child to adopt the worldview held by their parents without a lot of critical analysis, what happens when that kid grows up? Many of us continue to belief certain things without ever stopping to ask why we believe that. Is it justified, reasonable, and consistent with your other beliefs. Your worldview is an investment. Just like any investment, it is important to periodically take a mental inventory and decide if your beliefs are worth hodling. That is hard to do. It is almost impossible to do in isolation.
Your perspective is not only limited in cases of your worldview. Our perspectives direct our behaviors and if our perspective is flawed, then our behavior will be less than ideal. What can be said about your reaction when someone cuts in front of you on the expressway? For me, nine times out of ten I will assume the ABSOLUTE WORST about that person even though I have almost none of the relevant data points. Or consider a more serious example.
In each of these examples, you need a tribe to help you see beyond yourself. I should clarify here that I am not using tribe as a reference to the divisive “tribalism” and identity politics that we have seen in full force lately. Your tribe is your community. But it is not everyone in your circle of contact. It is not everyone following you on Steemit or all of your Facebook friends. Your tribe members are the ones who get you. You share something with them and you make an effort to support each other. There is a mutual investment. Your tribe helps you see what you cannot.
Each member of your tribe can offer a level of perspective that you do not have. Yes, they have data points that don’t have that can help fill in the picture, but this is more than just seeing facts that you miss. Your tribe will help you see the parts of yourself that you are blind to. When you respond to a basic or moderate annoyance with extreme or heightened action, it is safe to assume that you are not attuned to your whole internal picture. In those moments, you need to turn to your tribe, ask them to tell you what they see, and humbly accept the answer. Their input is not perfect. I am not advocating blind acceptance. I am saying that you should incorporate that date point into your worldview, or your evaluation of a situation. At the end of the day you and only you are responsible for your actions. But you are better off not running out into the world alone.
And until next time, be blessed.
Sam
Image Source: Angry, Escape, Tribe
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Luckily I don’t experience the last example, because sometimes I feel like my wife and I are a tribe of two! Your post is a good reminder that isn’t exactly healthy, and I should try to cultivate a wider circle of influence. Nice one!
Thanks for the comment. It is tricky because a married couple is sort of a tribe unto themselves. That should be desired and celebrated. There is probably no single other person who will know you better. Still, even your spouse will not see things that could add value to your own growth. At least for me, there are aspects of myself that my wife just doesn't really get or empathize with, no matter how open and honest we are. And that's okay. Cultivating a wider circle of influence does not have to involve diminishing or taking anything away from the relationship you have with your wife.
Cheers,
Sam
Having a group of the people around you to care is always useful, a person who shares the same interest will work with you but the one whose interests collide with yours will probably be oppose to you. Some ppl will also be caring but manipulative and abusive no matter how you try to explain it to yourself. And this is not a lack of data, it is a fact.
I totally agree. Not everyone should be given membership into your tribe. We must be wise and somewhat cautious in deciding which people are genuine and safe.
Great article! I am writing on the same subject. Look at my articles please.
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STOPI love this article. Your tribe get's you. That says it all. Many seasons in my life I experienced loneliness not because I was alone but because no one seemed to get me. And as one grows older they come to know the difference between having a true person with which to connect as opposed to those that tolerate you. Awesome article @ssimkins9
Thanks for stopping by and offering the encouragement. I really appreciate your comment. I think we all have this inherent need to feel like we belong somewhere, but like you say, if we don't also feel understood, then we won't feel connected.
Everything you say here is true and I think you hit on something at the very beginning when you said:
I think it may be normal that that happens, but it isn't always right. Kids form their thoughts and beliefs early on and snapping out of a belief systems that doesn't necessarily work for them is not easy to do. That's the subconscious reaction they have later that you also mention. Then what happens is that their tribe becomes other people who are are not thinking in their best interest either. Sadly, THESE are the people I want to reach, but they don't listen to people like me. 😂
Thanks for the comment. You're totally right that unfortunately we do not always surround ourselves with people that are actually able or willing to help us.