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RE: The Deadpost Initiative - Week 8 - Share your most undervalued work + week 7 winners ($11 SBD prize pool)

in #community7 years ago (edited)

Thank you for the awesome prize and especially for your kind and encouraging words! I have never studied poetry and I don't know anything about the technical side of that art. But I wrote this poem in 2012 for myself and it was the first post that I made after my failed introduction lol. I am open to helpful critique 😎

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Bitter Way

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A lovely little poem, with great rhymes and good spidery advice! You get one of my votes!

Thank you @melinda010100! You are always so careful with your votes, supportive of the content that you like, and encouraging in your comments that I covet a vote from you as much or more than winning the contest itself. 😊

What a sweet thing to say! You totally made my night! Good luck in the contest!

I enjoyed reading your poem. It has a strong rhythm, using easy to understand language. The line, 'You need to learn to dream great things without an ounce of pride' is lovely. What good advice! I hope you have written more poems. Bitter Way deserved a good upvote.

Thank you @deemarshall, I have written a few items but it is a bit scary to share them. I have found in life that pride is such a big problem for everyone, even those that seem so humble at the beginning of a venture. As soon as we start to become successful at something, there is pride creeping in to ruin it all and steal away all of the joy and fulfillment that success can bring. The one thing that I noticed connecting people who held both great success and a joyful full life were those that had overcome pride. Those that had not might have success of sorts, but they lived amid strife, bickering, mistrust and the constant struggle to stay on top. Pride drove away all that was kind and good and genuine, leaving little behind that was not profane.

I am sorry you've had such a poor experience with fellow human beings. That is sad. I have been fortunate to have contact with many talented people who strive to learn more skills and improve on their successes. I have not met such proud people that you describe.

Oh I'm making it sound a lot worse than it is on a personal level, I have had some truly wonderful and very uplifting experiences with people from all walks of life. I have also had a lot of success and fulfillment in my work, play and social life. But I am continually saddened when I see the lives of so many talented people who possess amazing gifts going to waste. It is such a shame and that is what makes me sad. 😞

You wrote a beautiful little poem with a great message/ plenty of wisdom behind it. Makes me think of the Tao Te Ching (The Book of the Way) that I recently read.

Just out of curiosity:

How did you feel about touching up a poem of 5 years ago? How much of it/ what did you change?

Thank you for the kind comment and comparison to a book of wisdom. I don't remember the exact changes but it didn't involve the message. I just used an alternate word or made a slight change to the arrangement of the words in a line so that it read more fluidly. If I tried to sit down and work at writing a poem the task would be very difficult for me, but this just flowed out of me after witnessing someone make a bad mistake, even though they should have, and could easily have known better.

You're welcome! I see... Thanks for answering my question. When something flows out of you like that, it's a beautiful thing.

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