COMMUNICATION IS PIVOTAL TO SUCCESS IN LIFE : TOPIC NO 1: CHOOOSING WORDS

LANGUAGE AND COMMUNICATION DEFINE WHO YOU ARE. THEY ALSO SHAPE AND CREATE THE ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH THEY ARE USED AND ARE LARGELY RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCCESS OR FAILURE. BEYOND YOUR ESSENTIAL POSESSIONS OF QUALIFICATIONS, SKILLS AND EDUCATION, LANGUAGE AND COMMUNICATION ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOLS OF YOUR LIFE.

THROUGH THIS SERIES, I WILL PRESENT TO YOU WHAT I HAVE LEARNED THROUGH LIFE AND RESEARCH SO I MAY IMPROVE MYSELF AND I HOPE IT IMPROVES YOUR LIFE.

TOPIC 1: PROPER CHOICE OF WORDS
Words have immense power. They can change someone's life for better or for worse. They can create war or peace. They can be destructive or eternally fruitful. Each and every one of us have our lives impacted by words in our past spoken to us. We may or may not be concously aware that fact. This truth must be recognized and accepted for us to really understand and change how we choose our words. After all my research and my in depth look into this aspect of my life and lives of people close to me, I am ready to write a few books on this subject. On Steemit, I want to be somewhat concise. Allow me one example from my life.

My great teacher, Prof. Howard Doyle gave me a book as a gift on my graduation many years ago and he wrote those words that you see in the pic above. I will confess that knowing more than Dr Doyle may never be possible for me. I have always kept the book close to me. His words are always in the back of my head and I have always had an intense desire to never let him down and never let down those words. It's been 12 years since I received the compliment. The emotion has only grown stronger in me and if I am a better person today then Dr Howard Doyle ( Albert Einstein School of Medicine) has a lot to do with it.

Believe me, a lot of successes in your life now and for years to come are drawn from generous, encouraging and kind words of your parents, teachers, friends, partners and angels that you met along the way.

As I see it now, 3 things happen with your choice of words

1. Impact on self
2. Impact on the listener
3. Impact on the environment
   These impacts are very long lasting, so be very mindful and careful.
   My first suggestion is to speak less and listen more. This in itself will be another topic in this series. For now understand that it is impossible to be as precise with words as one desires if you speak excessively. It is more effective to convey your meaning with precision.
   Choose positive words. Choose words that impact the mood in an upbeat way. Even in a menial conversation , for example ,something as mundane as the weather may come up on a rainy dark and cold day, you have a choice to talk about it with a positive emotion or negative emotion. " Crap The weather sucks,it's raining again" will in subtle ways have a very different impact than " I love a warm cup of coffee and a great movie in this weather". Not only that you create an immediate positive impact on the situation but subtly you have projected an image of your personality to the listener. You have also impacted their mood even if they are gloomy.

Choose kind words. Words that carry empathy. " I understand your feelings", " I agree with you", " I think I understand how you feel" , " I think I know what you mean", " it is very kind of you" " I am glad you are working with me on this " Take your pick. Make your choices. Then consciously use those words and phrases in life until it becomes second nature.

Choose words that have positive potential and hope. Say you are in a board meeting and business is not doing so hot. Instead of telling all that we are down in the dumps, choose " we will be improving our cash flow by the end of the year" or " we have a plan to do better by next quarter" or anything else befitting the situation. Just make certain that you choose positive words. You will show leadership, change the mood of the board and inspire people to work harder.

Avoid limiting words. " this won't work", " this is impossible" " the goal is unrealistic" , are some examples. Instead You might say " the goals are lofty and we have the potential to get there. My concern is the immediate stress on staff as I know they will give it their all to achieve this. I would like this to be a pleasant journey for all. My proposal ........"
These are not examples of the best phrases in all situations but simply ideas of choices of words.

Avoid judgmental words about people, politics and religion. If you do so, let me know how. You don't have to be neutral about a situation. Instead of " what the hell is Trump doing" you might say " I don't understand the chaos in the White House , I am hopeful that things improve soon" . You have conveyed your displeasure without affecting the mood in your environment too negatively and you will not come across as a judgmental negative person. Feel free to do otherwise if you are a comedian.

This does not come easy. It takes quite a bit of effort to master this. If you try to imagine right now how you may improve tomorrow, it will be not practical. Keep the ideas in the back of your head and as you go through tomorrow, you will realizing in all different interactions where you could have done better. Then you will start to improve your word choices.

You create with your words. Give yourself the chance to try this. You will be impressed.

TOPIC NUMBER 2 will be The art of listening. Stay tuned. Coming soon.