COMEDY OPENMIC ROUND 14 -- COMMOM MISTAKES YOU MAKE

in #comedyopenmic7 years ago (edited)

The truth is, most of you over think things. Some very simple English words whose meanings are well out there, have been over flogged with definitions that push the word off the path of its truest and simplest meaning.

Allow me to give you some examples, try your very best to forget what you think you know about these words and let me reeducate you... deal?

1. BREADWINNER

WRONG: A person who earns money to support their family, typically the sole one.
RIGHT: The one who runs a race and claims the prize gift which happens to be a bread.

2. HOUSEWIFE

WRONG: A married woman whose main occupation is caring for her family, managing household affairs, and doing housework.
RIGHT: A woman who is married to a literal house.

3. FRAUDSTER

WRONG: A person who commits fraud, especially in business dealings.
RIGHT: Well, firstly the spelling is very wrong, it is actually spelt FRAUD STAR... this easily lets you know that these people give a five star rating to FRAUD.

BREASTFEED

WRONG: To feed from the breast
RIGHT: Are you kidding me right now, you really do not know what a feed is? It simply means you are feeding the breast. One word : IMPLANTS!!!

Do I really need to go one here? Think about it; you need to unlearn your ENGLISH and let me teach you what it means to value words for what they are.

Well I am a self learned ENGLISH-MAJOR, so trust me when I say:

I do not know what I am talking about

HAVE A GOOD LIFE...... #fingerscrossed




image source
I nominate @ackza and @anomadsoul
Sort:  

Masturbate; correct spelling MasterBathe

Wrong: to wank
Right; to give your master a hand job.
Now nominate two people before @comedyopenmic masterbathes you, Sire

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