Yeah, I'm a dirty white boy! I'm a lean mean ground beef machine! (round 23)

in #comedyopenmic • 6 years ago (edited)

Hi, I'm meatwad.
I may be retarded, but I'm not sure. @mastershake left me in the damn freezer too long- got freezer burn.
I like playing with my dolls, and listening to my jambox, and fine ass shorties.
And drugs.
I ain’t got no job, my wife left me, bills piling up, I got child-support payments, and I don’t know if any of what I just said is true.
I would kill somebody in front of their own mama to get a ten speed. And if any witnesses testify against me, I'll gouge their eyes out.
My best friend is Boxy Brown.
Wait, what was I doing?
Oh, Steemit, right.
Shake says that books are the devil and T.V. is twice as fast.
Just let me know if y'all want to play some clam digger, love that game, all about the parking.
It don't matter what you look like on the outside, white or black or sasquatch even, as long as you follow your dream no matter how crazy or against the law it is.
Except if it's FOMO 3D, that'd be fun if I was stupid.
I wanted a bunny rabbit, I was gonna name it Nathan... that's Latin for warm by the way... Nathan Scott Phillips.
Well I can't remember what I was doing here, time to go do my power walking.
One day I gone learn to swim. When I'm an adult. Swim.
I'm not drunk! You the drunk one! Are you gonna do somethin bout it?!
Fudge you, butthole.

Untitled_Artwork (7).jpg

I nominate @boxybrown and @mcpeepants they cool.

This post and all ensuing posts is a tribute to the Meatwad character, creation of Dave Willis and Matt Maiellaro for the Cartoon Network/Adult Swim show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

#life #food #love #introduceyourself
6 years ago in #comedyopenmic by
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    • [-]
     6 years ago 

    Hello meatwad

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    4 votes
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    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Are you a stranger? I's not supposed to talk to strangers. Or leprechauns

    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Hello meatwad! Welcome to Steemit! Hope you'll like the community here. As a start, here are 5 tips that we believe will be helpful to you:

    1. Keep your passwords safe: Unlike conventional sites, Steemit has 4 types of passwords. Each offers varying degrees of access to your account, so know where and when to use each of them. Also, make sure to keep them all safe and secure.
    2. Get Steem rewards: When writing a post, you'll have the option to choose how to receive your reward: "Default 50%/50%" or "Power Up 100%". As of this moment, choosing Default 50%/50% is the better option. But this can change over time. Check our post to know more.
    3. Upvote wisely: When upvoting, wait at least 30 minutes after the post is published to maximize your curation reward. Also, make sure not to upvote too much too fast so as not to drain your voting power.
    4. Know your Steem, Steem Dollars and Steem Power: Steem and Steem Dollars are the 2 main currencies here. Convert and power up more Steem into Steem Power so you can have higher values on your upvotes.
    5. Have Fun and Enjoy!

    For a detailed writeup, check our post Getting Started: 5 Essential Tips for New Users.

    Good luck on your Steem journey! Follow us if you like to receive more helpful tips and maximize your Steemit experience.

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    3 votes
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    [-]
     6 years ago 


    Boy, I's not sure these votes were used wisely.

    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Welcome to Steem Community @meatwad! As a gentle reminder, please keep your master password safe. The best practise is to use your private posting key to login to Steemit when posting; and the private active key for wallet related transactions.

    In the New Steemians project, we help new members of steem by education and resteeeming their articles. Get your articles resteemed too for maximum exposure. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch

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    1 vote
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    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Welcome to steemit family! Good luck! I am sure that you will fully enjoy your journey here :)

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    2 votes
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    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Why thank you, puppy. That's very nice. But I has a family.

    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Hey there meatwad, who's your owner? :D

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    2 votes
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    [-]
     6 years ago 

    Me. I'm his owner.
    Saaaay are you single? Cause I can see the love on your eyes.
    I work out.

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      [-]
       6 years ago (edited)

      Don't listen to him!
      He's mean to me.
      And he sure as hell don't work out none.

      [-]
       6 years ago 

      Lol. Ok. U boys be good now. 😂

      Posted using Partiko Android

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        [-]
         6 years ago 


        Welcome to Steem @meatwad.

        Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.

        Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.

        All the Best!!!

        [-]
         6 years ago 


        Welcome to Steem @meatwad.

        Do read A thumb rule for steemit minnows - 50:100:200:25 for starter tips.

        Spend time reading Steem Blue Paper to know how Steem blockchain works and if you still have any queries ask them on our Ask me anything about Steemit post and we will try to answer that.

        All the Best!!!

        [-]
         6 years ago (edited)

        dude i've got the secret dungeon for your awesomeness. it the weirdos basement AKA Comedy Discord Server
        Should I be expecting you?

        [-]
         6 years ago 

        Frylock is always warning me to stay out of stranger's dungeons.
        I keep forgetting!
        Have you seen my brain?
        I took it out to put my sunglasses on and can't find it.

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        3 votes
        Reply
        [-]
         6 years ago 

        Your brain's in here.
        Let's find it together.
        Free candies.

        $0.00
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          [-]
           6 years ago 

          Hear that meatwad?
          Free candies
          You should go get some for me.
          I'll be here waiting for the next panel van to hitch a ride in.

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            [-]
             6 years ago 

            Okay who is fucking with me here.

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              [-]
               6 years ago 

              Also, you can get in too. I'll get off.

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                [-]
                 6 years ago 

                Thanks for reminding me. I need to fire up the BBQ.

                [-]
                 6 years ago 

                Thanks for reminding me.
                It is time for bed.
                I hope you has the meat rubs, I do love me some meat rubs.

                [-]
                 6 years ago 

                I want the drugs you're taking.

                [-]
                 6 years ago 


                Drugs are bad! No they's not! Yay, them voices in my head again!

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