Love like Poetry: Comedyopenmic 34 second entry

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago

My girlfriend broke up with me and I didn't even know about it. I'd be lying if I say I didn't see it coming but I never thought it'd be so soon. She found about my shortcomings and couldn't tarry, apparent she wanted a man that gave a little bit more of a fuck and I wasn't him.
image

She called me two nights ago to complain about how I "treat" her. Yes I admit I've not been entirely good from my end but I'm also a victim. Some weeks ago, she told me she was pregnant for me and honestly, I flipped. I bust a nut inside her because she told me she was on birth control, what a lie that was. I sponsored abortion and I'm not entirely proud of it, then again I live in a society where the number of abortions paid for are feathers to ones cap. I really should have given a bit more of a fuck, I spoke with her twice in one week and that's because of the effects of the "procedure". The moment she told me she was "ok", I moved back to not giving a fuck mode. Now I'm being labelled insensitive, I never win.

I wish I could care but I generally don't, during her 10 minutes outburst on the phone, she went on about how I'm suppose to call at least once a day and "show" that I care. I reminded her that I always send her money when she asks but apparently, I'm suppose to do more. These relationships expect too much from an individual, how is an ordinary man with basic desires suppose to keep up?

I wish someone would help me, I really need a lecture, so I wrote this poem to paint a picture.
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I'm single again, I'm back on the prowl
My girl did a 360, she turned away like an owl
He left me for bullshit even though I paid
She left me high and dry, how will I get laid?

I'm single again despite taking all her shit
She thought the relationship was going to be lit
I wasn't in love but I like enough
To pay for an abortion and actually give a fuck

Its back to the drawing boards to restrategize
To get a new love and I hope she'll realize
That love shouldn't be fussed, it takes time
At least all the bars in this poem actually rhyme.

I'd like to nominate @trumpman and @dj123 because even though they probably won't make entries, ginabot give him notifications that often translate to juicy upvotes for me. I also nominate @mariannewest and @carlgnash that holds the title of the sexiest man on steemit to make entries. You can come fuck with us in the discord channel https://discord.gg/K2H6xm PS: there's a whole room for one man's cock

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Nice post. I'm not too comfortable with abortion either TBH. Probably my Islamic background.

One thing though

My girl did a 360, she turned away like an owl

You may wanna consider reading a math book.

You beat me to it. I was just going to berate this mathlete.

I was referring to her boobs in the equation, it was 180 degrees a piece.

You’re lucky I already rated your entry 😂

I guess your boobs were considering a 360 😂

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"I bust a nut inside her because she told me she was on birth control, what a lie that was."

Was it a macadamia? I love those nuts.

Pee-nut, get it? I may suck at maths but at least I don't suck at....never mind

I have an ex that never actually broke up with me so technically we're going on 20 years. She just doesnt know it and i havent seen her in 19 years and 10 months. I think this is how you sustain a long-term relationship!

You should be a relationship coach

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