Comedy open mic week 37

I really think life is sending some guys to me as a punishment of some sort.

So I started my day on the upside, I had to leave school on Saturday to go see my mom cause she misses me to the moon (everyone in life does once they know me). I have my bath singing "dancing in the mirror" for no one in particular;

I just think it's a cool song for people to hear you singing in the shower to. I'm dressed in these really dope jeans I bought online (I'm rocking this stuff...ok) sun is shining 7am but I'm on my geeky glasses so I don't really mind. I board a taxi at the hospital's bus park (cause I'm a medical student and we do this stuff).

I'm sitting there and I can feel this dude staring at me, he sitting right next to me. So I'm like yeah, I'm banging so go ahead. I look back at him, we make some eye-catching eye contact. He's dressed cool, not bad at all.

Then this nigger opens his mouth. At this moment I'd like to pause the scene so people can understand me. Look I'm a simple girl; when I see a dude who is hot, I'm not asking for a British accent I'm in Nigeria for crying our loud and that's a far cry from possible. But it's not too much to ask for a decent accent. This guy wasn't hot per say, so a decent accent would be ok or if he can't run that then let's speak pidgin English (reffere to #nigeria). Now let's press play on scene.

This dude: hallo (so I'm thinking he is joking and this is a funny way of greetings) I saw you from far away looking scare to enter the tazi are you nu here? 😏

Me: no, I was looking for my money in my wallet.😶

This dude: hope you found the maney cause ecornomy is hard.
(A quetion like this cute when you like the dude, right now it's just dumb cause he's pissing me off)😏

Me: yes (now I'm giving short answers so he goes away)😐

This dude: ok. Where are you heding to?😏😎

Me: home😐

This dude: where is hom?😎

Me: in my house 😑

This dude: you are so funny😁😁
(What's cracking this dude up, he spoilt my day)

Me: 😑😑😑

The the dude asks can I have your number, I'm like 'i'm not safe giving strangers my number’ (🎶 a lie I didn't have to tell #rihanna is dope). He says 'let me give you mine'. I pull out my phone and the nigger goes 'nut ate nut'. I'm done!!!

For this post I nominate @topdollar_001 and @bhoa

Thanks for reading you're awesome

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