World War II Prequel - The rise of Hitler

After writing the first of a three-parter about world war II I figured it would be a good to go back a little in time to get to know the cute little fella who started the war

The man who gave us laughter by creating the source of all inappropriate nazi jokes

Who is Hitler?

Hitler was one of the most aspiring painters, he applied to the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna and got rejected. Another fun fact, Hitler was a vegetarian, so he grilled people but not animals. Vegetarian school’s finest managed to take over 11 whether a whole or partially, and I am not talking about cute little countries. I am talking countries like Russia, Belgium, Denmark, and France. His kingdom reached east to Russia and west to England, plus couple of places in Africa. Has actions affected even us Arabs, his ethnic cleansing toward the Jewish people resulted to the initiation of state of Israel (disclaimer: Iam not here to argue the legitimacy of that) he started that ended with America replacing Britain as the world’s strongest country. He is one of the most influential people in history, whether great or not is what I am here for.

Hitler was born in 1889 in Austira, yeah that’s right Hitler was Austrian. He wanted to be a painter, he applied to the Academy of Fine Arts Vienna in 1907 but was rejected twice unfortunately. It is weird feeling when you feel bad for Hitler, maybe because it’s because I was rejected as well for my IELTS score, maybe he was rejected over his GDA, I don’t know. It is not clear why he was rejected but imagine being the guy asked about it after world war 2.

After the death of his mother, Hitler lived in Vienna as a bohemian street painter. Hitler had a lot to do, living in Vienna at the time shapes how Hitler grew. Vienna was a cultural haven at the time, it should be enough to mention that at the time people such as Leon Trotsky, Joseph Stalin, Sigmund Freud, and Josip Broz Tito, and Oier Bellerin, who is that last one? He is my friend’s great grandfather, didn’t have as much effect on history as the rest.

Hitler was affected a lot by the ideas in the place at the time. Vienna‘s mayor was Karl Lueger, the writer of “I decide who is a Jew!”, suffice to say it was a good decision that he wasn’t allowed to decide that because the dude was a huge antisemite. During world war I Hitler volunteered to join the German army, much like any patriotic man. He got the medal of valor twice during the war, in spite of that he stayed on the country side, he wasn’t promoted because he was and I quote “was able to lead” that is right, according to the army leaders Hitler didn’t have leadership skill. Anyway in 1918 a revolution erupted in Germany, forcing the german empreror Kaiser Wilhelm to do what Cercei should have done and gave up his throne and went to Holland and the war ended with Germany surrendering surprisingly. Hitler was going insane because of that, how does Germany surrender when they are winning? Well to be precise, Germany wasn’t winning nor losing, they were in a state of trench warfare at the time. Hell the two sides even played a football match at the time

Following the surrender, Germany signed the Treaty of Versailles, a treaty that forced Germany to pay a fortune to the allies as war retribution. The surrendering left germans was feeling betrayal, hurt, humilated. To be honest you have to feel for them as Germany wasn’t a small country, one of, if not THE best country economically at the time.

After the war, political parties started to expand. Using local bars to share and advertise their ideas, it is pretty expected that after a revolution a political openness happens. And it is expected that the government infiltrate such parties in order to know their ideas. Hitler was still in the army at the time and was assigned to spy on one of the right wing parties in 1919 the party was The The Nazi Socialist German Workers' party to hear their ideas and discussions.

Much like a pedophile who is insecure about his dick size while statuary raping someone, Hitler liked what he heard. He liked what they said about the political parties betrayal of the German army, and jewish people’s part in the defeat, that is how he saw, so Hitler joined them on the first night he spied on them and he started doing speeches. Historically speaking, you don’t need to teach Hitler how to talk to crowds, if Hitler was alive today we would be mesmerized by his Ted taks. So the people he went to spy on liked him very much. And he became the star of what later became the National Socialist German Workers' Party or what we became known later..... drum roll ..... The Nazi party

The party’s goals were simple

1- We will stop paying retribution for world war 1
2- We will take back the lands stolen from us
3- The party is against communism, capitalism, and Jewishness, and I’m gonna guess they are against me personally.

The party simply saw that Europe was a bug hood, and that hood needa a gang to control it, and that gang is them. And the party started their propaganda; they started their own newspaper to spread their message, the newspaper promoted the Aryan master race, the grandchildren of the old inhabitants of the legendary Atlanis continent, so basically Hitler thought he was the little mermaid. The Aryans were destined to lead the world, or so they thought. People started dreaming of the 6-1 Brcelona win, in other words, the greatest comeback, ironically much like Barcelona they ended up suffering from others’ comebacks, but more on that in future posts.

The party’s propaganda grabbed the attention of some military leaders who were against the surrender and the minimizing of the army, why throw the weapons when you could need them. So Hitler proposed to Ernst Röhm

Here he is looking baffled by people eating tide pods.

Ernst was in charge of disposing the weapons, Hitler proposed that he takes the weapons and use them to weaponize the party’s Sturmabteilung ( The Storm Battalion) and thus the party had a program, a propaganda, and weapons. One thing is left, they take over the country. And in 1921 Hitler was elected the leader of the Nazi party and in 1923 a golden opportunity arose, Germany doesn’t have the money to pay the allies war retribution so the government decides to print money which later caused the Germany Hyperinflation

Money increases without increase in production, so the money loses its value and prices increase, a single egg could cause millions or even billions of Marks

People can’t eat so the government doesn’t pay, France gets upset and takes over the Ruhr industrial area. You think Jean Van Croissant would let them get away with it? Something humiliating, Hitler felt this was his chance. Elections were sisy boys stuff, Hitler is a man with a big dick (figuratively of course) and he plans to just take over and stages a coup, much like Benito Mussolini did in Italy. Hitler set in motion the coup perfectly and took over Germany

Wait, No

Hitler failed and went to prison for 9 months, he didn’t want to be like sisy the boys and ended ip becoming one the moment he dropped the soap. It was 9 months because he was a good guy, which is expected when you have a small and deformed dick in prison. Hitler did a lot of self-reflection and wrote his cute little book

The book became a bestseller later on.... in 2016!! Yeah that’s right, Hitler’s book was a best seller in 2016 AND 2017 as well.

The book consisted of Hitler’s journey, served as a manifesto for the nazi party, the prison experience, the failed coup, and all those good stuff. To be fair to the guy, the prison did teach him something, okay that something to take over the country in a better way, but something nonetheless. Hitler learned he needs to follow the payh of sisy boys and enter the election. While Hitler was still in prison in 1924 the party won a whooping, amazing, impressive..... 3%. Even though the country just got out of a war, and it is economically screwed, still, Germany wasn’t ready for the Nazi party’s radical take. The government was able to maintain the coup and the protests that followed, printed a new currency to fight the hyperinflation, all of that made left the German people with another path to go.

Hitler didn’t give ip, mich like any inspired and motovated dictator, he is resistant. Hitler decided to enter the next election, he started studying and preparing for it. In 1928, numbers must increase as Germany is still in the shit, this time Hitler is there and all the inputs suggest that the party is bigger and stronger. This the nazi party’s chance. And thus they won the election and Hitler became the leader of Germany and the rest is history.

Nope

The nazy party actually 2.5% votes. LESS than they had without Hitler. Jesus! Is this the end of the nazi party? Is it the end for Hitler? Is this the end of this post?

Not yet

In 1929 fate plays its part, sending Hitler an unexpected gift. The American falls, and in the world of economics, if America sneezes, the world gets the flu much like in 2008. In Germany unemployment rises up to 6 millions unemployed. This is the most fertilized soil for radical seeds, moderate solutions are for the time of peace, this is the time of radical solutions like tha nazi Party’s. People can’t find food, banks are falling, unemployment rises, the country needs a leader. No one is more popular than the one screaming “we should stop giving money to the allies”. Add to that the Nazi party started making the most of the situation and showed themseves as the saviors of the German people, the party started helping the unemployed, the party’s presence around the country helped it reach a wide audience. Thus the Nazi became the most popular party in Germany and in 1932 the elections declares the Nazi party under Hitler’s leadership the most popular prty with a 37% votes. Not the best majority vote, but a majority nonetheless especially when we recall the previous 3 and 2.5% they got in previous elections. That prompted Hitler to enter the presidential election against world war I hero Paul von Hindenburg

..... And lost..... Okay I am starting to doubt world war II ever happened and that the entire thing was a hoax.

But in 1933 Hitler gets lucky once again; the German president at the time, the previous WWI hero Paul von Iamnotgoingtowritethelastnameaganburg hired Hitler as a chancellor

Because Paul von hated communists, and knew that Hitler and his party was against and thought he’d bring Hitler to protect the people starting a chain of actions that changes the history of the world.

Summary

Hitler’s rise teaches motivation and hard work does pay off, in the most fucked up way. But it also teaches how the German people recieved Hitler and his party’s radical thoughts after rejecting twice. Undoubtedly the economy played part, but we’re talking about people who not long ago had an illiteracy rate that almost reached zero, a historical country with a lot of accomplishments, accept such racist and hateful thoughts in an honest election is kind of horrifying. It also teaches us that colleges, academies, and universities need to stop being dicks. Is the IELTS, GRA, and al those few capital letter that no one knows what they stand realy necessary? Let’s just let aspiring youth accomplish their dreams and not become dictators who cause world wars.