Story Hour: Greeting Meltdown

in #comedy7 years ago (edited)


A long time ago, in a movie theater semi-far away, I worked as an assistant manager. Before that era of the job, I worked as a concessionist, an usher, a box office ticket seller, an underpaid janitor, and an over-paid coffee-getter.

I cleaned messes. I saw the worst in people (figuratively, as well as literally: some customers would leave droppings; who needs to go out on safari when the safari comes to you am I right?).

It was supposed to be a quick in-and-out burger of a job.

The idea was it would allow me to see the tail-end of the movie-making process in person, so I get a thorough understanding of how that section of the business operates, but it lasted from November 2012, all the way to October 2016. Almost half a decade spent in a giant Egyptian themed theater. And when your name is Ramses, that means a lot of customers thinking you're the Mickey Mouse of the building.

Can't lie though, it was nice having a flag in the parking lot with my name on it. It let me pretend I was lord of a vast kingdom full of discarded food and recently used condoms. Almost a decade. At least it left me with stories to tell.

Here's the first of the series:

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