My Journey So Far and The 10 Signs that a Steemit Account is ‘Fake’.

This post was inspired by the ever evolving nature of fakers, spammers, scammers and circle jerks of all types. In my relatively short journey so far down the steemit rabbit hole, it has produced some interesting and eye opening observations indeed.

This particular post here by @sift666 triggered some early memories of steemit for me, which I did not understand whatsoever at the time, being a ‘naïve’ and new user. I started paying a lot more attention to some slightly more inconspicuous trends and behaviour. My early journey through steemit, also included some interesting experiences and findings which can be found here and here.

These two posts were critically acclaimed smash hits, breaking all international blockchain records and shot to the top of the trending pages within a matter of seconds. It lit up the DA chain bitches, and the nodes were set on fire and had to be reset. Not only that, but the immense international interest resulted in a Spanish translation (really, no shit).

Now that I have satisfied my own jerkfest and have my steemit fantasies out of the way, let’s move on to reality. To be truthful, the first post did get the attention of an influential ‘whale’ which received a welcome boost and was helped along the way. I was very grateful for this. So now, I expect the same thing @v4vapid (yes, I am summoning you-got to strike while the iron is hot), but this time a 100% upvote will be demanded. I’m not really into virtual dick sucking, but on this occasion I will make an exception. If you fail to meet my demands, I will hunt you down in the PAL discord server and use my virtual harpoon to strike you in the spleen. You will bleed slowly from the fatal strike and succumb to a slow and painful virtual death. After the bleeding is over, you will be slow cooked into a broth and served with side dishes, as a delicacy of whale fin soup. You hear me?

Let’s get back on the right path here. For all of the above reasons, I decided to conduct a rigorous scientific study with the help of some internet sleuths and forensic computer scientists to conclude the findings and publish them on the blockchain. I encourage all of the potentially accused, to reply to these findings in the comments section of this post. You may even get a ‘dusty’ upvote, if you catch my attention in a ridiculous and circle-jerky fashion. If you would prefer to argue or have a debate with me on these matters, that would be even more welcome. I WILL DESTROY YOU AND TAKE YOU DOWN ON DA CHAIN.

On to the disclaimer and scientific results themselves….

*THIS STUDY WAS CONDUCTED IN A CONTROLLED TEMPERATURE AND SAFE ENVIRONMENT, WHILST ABIDING BY THE STRINGENT HUMANITARIAN INTERNATIONAL LAW OF THE INTERNETS. NO BOTS, FAKE ACCOUNTS, SCAMMERS, SPAMMERS OR CIRCLE JERKS WERE PHYSICALLY OR PSYCHOLOGICALLY ABUSED, TORTURED, OR HAD THEIR FEELINGS HURT. ALL PARTICIPANTS WERE TREATED IN A RESPECTFUL AND HUMANE MANNER THROUGHOUT THIS ENTIRE PROCESS AND CONSULTED ON ANY SIDE EFFECTS, FROM ANY TESTS CONDUCTED. ONLY SOME VIRTUAL CRYPTO KITTIES & OTHER VIRTUAL ANIMALS WERE USED FOR TESTING PURPOSES .

The results of this study are as presented below-:

1. You likely have a fake steemit account, if you write an introducingmyself post, where you receive less than 10 votes and have a post payout of $30+++, including one whale vote.

2. You’ve probably got a fake steemit account, if the first comment in your introducingmyself post has a $1+++ upvote, with only a four letter word comment.

3. You may possibly have a fake steemit account, if on the same intro post you have a spammy ‘steem witness’ comment.

4. The likelihood of having a fake steemit account, increases dramatically, when you have multiple meme posts in the first month, and payouts of $30+++ each.

5. Your steemit account may be fake, if you’re constantly getting upvotes in the comments section of multiple shit posts and you have less than 10 followers.

6. Its’ extremely possible you have a fake steemit account, if you are part of a circle jerk fest club of upvoting, from the same ring of abusers.

7. Its’ ‘highly likely’ you have a bunch of fake sock puppet steemit accounts, if you are part of a discord server that runs CONTESTS ONLY.

8. Its’ very likely you have a fake steemit account, if you constantly have very high post payouts, with NO COMMENTS on all your posts.

9. You might have more than one fake steemit account, if you have the same username on 2 different profiles, while on the same discord server.

10. You have a REAL steemit account, if you know this is funny shit, but is not a joke.

It may be a good idea to print or copy this and tape it to your monitor, to have quick access to these vital signs of fake thug life, as you will require it quite regularly…

All images sourced from giphy.com 1 2 3