Momentarily Self-Aware Tomi Lahren Yells Into Mirror Until Voices Stop

DALLAS, TX–- Battling with the ever expanding guilt wedged deep inside her subconsciousness that emerges whenever she prepares a defense of Donald Trump, an anxious Tomi Lahren reportedly went over to the mirror in her office and yelled at her reflection about liberal tyranny until the near-deafening voices of reason subsided. “I am not a liberal snowflake! I am the voice for the voiceless! Black Lives Matter is a hate group! Obama ruined this country! Radical Islamic terrorism. Health insurance isn’t a right! There’s no money to pay for tuition-free college! The military needs more funding! Climate change is overexaggerated! I am great! I am doing the right thing!” bellowed the young television personality as she attempted to silence the dissenting thoughts telling her that supporting a potentially authoritarian regime for money is morally dubious at best, and that just because Donald Trump won the election as a Republican candidate doesn’t mean that the criticisms of him and his cabinet are unfounded. “I am a good journalist! I do good work! People listen to me! I am helping this country! Trump will make America great again! Trump is good! I am a good journalist! People listen to me! Trump is good! I am good! I am good! I…am….good! Good, good, good, good! That’s me. Tomi Lahren. Tomi Lahren is good. Liberals are bad! Progressives are bad! I am good. Trump is good. I am not a liberal. I am good. I am Tomi. Tomi is good. Trump is good! Obama is bad! I am not Obama. I am good. I am Tomi. Tomi is good. Trump is good. Trump is Tomi! Tomi is Trump! I am good. We are good. Together. America. I am. Good! Tomi. Me? Good! Yes, Tomi! I am Tomi! Tomi good. Good is Tomi.” At press time, Lahren was seen touching her face to make sure that she still exists and that everything is real.