Naija Comedy series 1. (@bob-elr on - Daivacifikashun)

image sourced and redesigned by me.

Hello Fellowship steemians,

It's your boy Bob

• I'm here on a new level.
  Everyday I'm growing higher. It's not my fault that I'm growing up, even though my physical height is 3feet, never mind, im still growing at age 40.

I'm tired of speaking English
English no be my language...It's a borrowed language....so I'm returning it to the owner now.

This is one thing I like about China people and Korean...they cherish their thing so much that they carry it about anywhere they go even though their thing no dey last.

So right now I'm switching to China mode. But don't get it twisted, my thing will last well well
.....though I might still borrow English small small

Ha haaa..e don happen. I be real Africa guy, so I no be gentle guy at all.
The language I'll be using is called 'PIDGIN' so if you no understand make you take style park well.

If you wan know where I from come, I be correct Lagosian - Lasgidi.
For Lagos, we no dey carry last.
Since CURIE Abi Wetin them dey call am don refuse to dey curate us, we go curate ourselves. Na to daivasifai.
credit

I don write tire, which grammar I never use self?
Anytime wey Curie waka come, we go shout like say Nepa bring light....Shey na him fault?

If no be economy, Wetin I wan find come steemit? na hot water change the destiny of Gari to Eba na him make draw soup dey do iyanga. Na sufferness dey make person get talent. Na him make people like Bash Ali dey fight boxing wan become heavyweight champion.

*If sufferness too much, person go get talent by force..
Civilization and education don change us completely. Though their advantages cannot be overemphasized..

That reminds me of one day like that...

Me and my guy dey go Oshodi. We enter bus from Obalende... Na so conductor dey shout ...
...Owl your change oo
...owl your change oo

This man in suit sit down with briefcase dey press phone.

Conductor : Oga wey your money?

The Man gave him $100 note.

Conductor: Wetin be this? Abeg your money na 100 Naira.

The Man said : That's all I have, you can take everything.

Conductor: E be like say you dey craze. Which kind money you dey give me, my money na 100 Naira joor.

Situation wan change as conductor don begin vex.

Na so I tell conductor...bring am make I change am for you.

He angrily threw the $100 at me in exchange for 100Naira.

On arriving at Oshodi, I overheard a passenger told him *"Oga you just lost 3,400 Naira.

But who born am well make him come meet me?

Shout-out to my euronation friends...
@eurogee, @honourmaus, @sweetestglo-eu, @smyle, @drigwe-eu, @amec, @edith4angelseu, @Jeanipearl and others.
I love y'all. E no easy at all.

Our oyinbo people wey say no knowledge is waste them no lie.. Those people wey no dey earn well well on steemit no do essay writing when them dey for school, no doubt. And those people wey no dey sit-down for class, na now them dey know say e no good.

Also regards to my mentors @maryfavour, @stellabelle, @ogochukwu, @ehiboss, @oluwoleolaide, @greenrun who is always on the run, @surpassinggoogle what a sweet name,
we too like better thing. I dey sure say no be him real name be that...

Oyinbo don finish us.. We borrow language so tey we dey borrow name.. I see some Naija people dey answer... names like - stone, sand, Madd, Water, book, chef, glass, mirror, pepper,.......... Wetin come vex me pass na one guy wey I see dey answer Bat-junior... Someone should please tell him what Bat and Junior mean.

Thanks you all for reading

Check back for the next series of Naijacomedy.

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Disclaimer

This is intended for comedy purpose only. Don't get it twisted if you're mentioned.