Make me laugh! Best one-liners?

Steemit is a community filled with many different agendas. We have communities that care about crypto, gold and silver, politics, religion etc..

Censorship in the media and that which is slowly trickling down into the mainstream INTERNET such as youtube, twitter, and facebook has many people flocking to alternatives. Sometimes these alternatives becoming inundated and saturated with bad news. I am also one to gravitate towards some of this bad news and post about it.

So I was thinking.. maybe today since it is snowing and grey it's time for a change. It's time for at least one post to be positive and happy. I'll upvote all posts 100% if we can get some good one-liner jokes.

If even one of us chuckles, it was worth it. This is kind of a cool experiment to engage and create some happiness. As they say a smile is worth a 1000 words.. or something like that.

So here are my top 3 funny one liners. Please provide me your own!

#1. If Snapchat has taught me anything it's that a lot of you females look better as farm animals.

#2. NSFW Q: What does eating pussy and being in the mafia have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and your in deep shit!

#3. NSFW Yesterday I took laxatives and Viagra at the same time. I didn't know if I was coming or going.