What a terrible experience you had. Sounds as though you were subject to group pressure from all sides. I've always been an outlier and found my experience at college, years ago, to be very comfortable. It was a large, urban campus. Fraternities and sororities were sort of laughed at. I'm certainly a strong feminist, but that comes from life experience, from being told I couldn't work at a certain job because I was a woman. Also from being hooted at in the street (I like my privacy).
I'm glad you found a larger universe (Internet and books). I think the key to being happy is to follow your own path, find your own truth. Stay away from cliques and small-minded people. I wish you well.