给女友提前送了七夕礼物，然后我就被甩了....../Tanabata send his girlfriend a gift in advance, and then I dumped ......

We went to the annual Tanabata Festival gifts
Girlfriend Tanabata gift you bought it
又到了一年一度的七夕送礼节
女友的七夕礼物，你买好了吗

Gosh, you do not really think that his girlfriend does not want Tanabata gift?
天哪，你不会真以为女友七夕不想要礼物吧？

Last year Tanabata, Shakespeare said:
"I want a straight man to choose a woman's favorite gift,
This special than what port A Higher math is even more difficult. "
去年七夕，莎士比亚说过：
“要让直男选到女人最喜欢的礼物，
这特么要比口答高等数学题还要难。”

Straight men, is an amazing creature
Want lipstick girlfriend said, he chose the village soil pink gun
Want skirt girlfriend said, he would buy the ugliest piece of audience
Want dolls girlfriend said, he sent me a monster, the kind of horror
Girlfriend can say, he will definitely send me Simon same paragraph racy lingerie
直男，是一种神奇的生物
女友说想要口红，他选了最村炮的土粉色
女友说想要裙子，他一定会买到全场最丑的那条
女友说想要布娃娃，他送了我一只怪兽，惊悚的那种
女友说都可以，他绝对会送我人妖同款情趣内衣

I used to have a boyfriend straight with me Tucao
If love does not include gifts like links
Oh da
Gifts of love is alright finale title
Peking University or Tsinghua walked type high-problem
以前有一个直男朋友跟我吐槽
如果谈恋爱不包括送礼物环节就好了
呵呵哒
送礼物才是谈恋爱的压轴题好吗
还是保送清华北大的高难题型

If straight men did not choose the right gift for
Woman found the opportunity masterpiece row
"You do not love me!"
如果直男没选对正确的礼物
女人就找到了机会大作大闹
“你不爱我了！”

Feel embarrassed
Straight men this foolish creature will feel this time
"Uh, this gift is not a good thing?"
不好意思
直男这种愚蠢的生物这时只会觉得
“呃，这礼物不是挺好的嘛？”

To avoid stepping into the minefield
Straight men who have come to listen to their sister bar Tucao
"What wonderful boyfriend than your gift?"
为了避免踩进雷区
直男们都来听听妹子们的吐槽吧
“男朋友送过你们哪些奇葩的礼物？”

①
A Valentine's Day
I shyly took the hands of her boyfriend chocolate
Then I peel one
Then I took a bite
"Huh? How you could not eat it?"
Boyfriend grinned
"This is a model ah."

某个情人节
我羞答答的接过男友手中的巧克力
然后我剥开一颗
然后我咬了一口
“咦？怎么咬不动呢？”
男友露齿一笑
“这是模型啊。”

I swear this story is true!
我发誓这个故事是真的！

②
This is my birthday
He sent love to cook biscuits

这是我生日那天
他亲自下厨送的爱心烧饼

With the mood was also touched turned a face child
You feel free to under
当时还怀着感动的心情翻了个面儿
你们随意感受下

(Fried opposite! Wuli Tao Tao is you do! Tao Tao!)
（烧饼反面！wuli韬韬是你吗！韬韬！）

③
My ex-boyfriend gave his girlfriend is a gift sent to my home
Still or Tiffany
Still is the same series

我前男友把他送给现女友的礼物寄到我家里了
依旧还是蒂芙尼
依旧还是同一个系列

Oh, so many years
Routine is the same as the
呵呵，这么多年过去了
套路还是一样的一样的

④
Valentine received a courier
Male vote secretly to buy me pajamas
Originally super happy, the result I look stupid to force open
Why would send me such a soil pajamas ah!
I obviously still young girls, please! ! !
(Pajamas style similar to the following)

情人节收到个快递
是男票偷偷给我买的睡衣
本来超开心的，结果我拆开后一脸懵逼
为什么会送我这么土的睡衣啊！
我明明还是个花季少女好吗！！！
（睡衣的款式类似下图）

M ticket explained
He felt that the girls wear these pajamas will look great.
I:? ? ?
男票解释说
他觉得女孩子穿这种睡衣会很好看。
我：？？？

From this it can be seen pajamas
I vote not only men straight men and straight as iron and steel
从这件睡衣可以看出
我男票不仅直男，而且直如钢铁

⑤
Valentine's Day after my birthday
M ticket gave me a cake
And a wonderful lotus candle
Point fire will turn, will sing the kind of ......
Lotus candle that can not switch
After lit constantly singing
Simply can not stop
Finally, it was only candles on the right wire to cut

情人节过后是我的生日
男票送了我一个蛋糕
以及一个奇葩莲花蜡烛
点了火会转，会唱歌的那种......
可那个莲花蜡烛没开关
点着之后不停地唱歌
根本停不下来
我俩最后只能吧蜡烛上的电线给剪了

(I think now no one with the lotus candles
I did not expect it would came back)
（我以为现在已经没人用那个莲花蜡烛了
没想到它会重出江湖）

⑥
Boyfriend told me to show off a month in advance
He said to me very carefully prepared a birthday gift of
Said I'll see particularly moved, moved to tears
I have been fully expect ah
Breaking a finger every day several days ah
result! ! !
Today I opened a gift! ! !
I have the whole person shock! shock! Up!
Opened, a terrible deadpan face!
This is a focus on the cup!
Drink the cup from Tian Linggai!

男朋友提前一个月就跟我炫耀了
说给我准备了非常用心的生日礼物
还说我看到一定会特别感动，感动到落泪
我就一直满心期待啊
每天掰着手指头数日子啊
结果！！！
今天我一打开礼物！！！
我整个人都震！惊！了！
一打开，一个可怕的面无表情的人脸！
重点是这是个杯子！
要从天灵盖喝水的杯子！

I think the man must be like a curse me votes
Humph! ! !
Aesthetic straight men always make us unprepared
The following gifts also topped the charts bad gift
They are said to have become ex-boyfriend
我觉得男票一定是想诅咒我
哼！！！
直男的审美总是能让我们措手不及
以下这些礼物也荣登了糟糕礼物排行榜
据说他们都成了前男友

QQ show free roses
18 Happy Birthday written on raw eggs
Li Chen love stone with paragraph
A toothpick, above called bow
One in blood
A book, "On Protracted War"
A flower Duo Xilan
A long list of codes
QQ秀的免费玫瑰花
18颗写着生日快乐的生鸡蛋
李晨同款爱心石头
一根牙签，上面打了个蝴蝶结
一封血书
一本书《论持久战》
一朵西兰花
一大串代码
。。。。。。

Xiao Bian originally wanted to write a tutorial about Tanabata gifts
But after reading these feces general gifts
Xiao Bian think, tutorials could not save straight male aesthetic
Only as a reminder to you a limerick
本来小编还想写关于七夕送礼物的教程
但看完这些屎一般的礼物后
小编觉得，教程也救不了直男审美
只能作一首打油诗给你们提个醒了

Day greetings, it is better to fight a huge sum.
If you love to Everlasting trouble sending lipsticks.
整天嘘寒问暖，不如打笔巨款。
你若爱到情浓，麻烦送支口红。

I do not know why you're single points open this article
Tanabata wish you still can successfully find the object bar
也不知单身的你为何要点开这篇文章
还是预祝大家七夕能顺利找到对象吧