What is Love

Love by most persons is defined by a feeling one gets when you look at someone and you just want to spend your life with them. Some even say there is this sense of euphoric sensation that runs through the body that even causes the hairs on their body to stand. But since love is more subjective than objective, the definition of love can be seen differently by various individuals exposed to different circumstances or situations. In order for us to get the meaning or definition of love correct then we must first understand the origin of love.

In western culture, love is attributed towards God which most believe is the creator of this indescribable feeling. But to understand the word love we must go to the Bible to see its definition of what love is. Minister Voddie Baucham sums it up as:

"Love is an act of the will accompanied by emotion that leads to action on behalf of its object"

He went on to add meaning to the definition that he used for love. He said Love is a choice which some persons believe that they do not choose who they love but it just 'happens' or they just fall into it. He also said Love generates an emotional reaction which would correlate with views of cause and effect where love is the cause and the emotional response is the effect. Most times we get to this point and our feelings get all caught up in an individual where we just would want to do anything to be with them and thus we take action towards the person.

Unconditional Love vs Conditional Love

We have established what love is but there is a question regarding love that is asked a lot of times. Is love conditional or unconditional? Many believers of love say that it is unconditional where you ignore the individual's faults, frailties, insecurities, shortcomings and just love that person regardless. But is it really unconditional? Yes, we may be able to see past someone's shortcomings but what about unconditional love in abusive relationships or parasitic relationships. Can you love someone unconditionally when they physically abuse you, disrespect you and do evil to destroy your relationship with them? As much as people would like to believe that there is unconditional love, there is no such thing as unconditional love.

If there was unconditional love, then we would have been robots where you would give the same generated response in all situations or conditions at all times. Therefore it is safe to say that love is conditioned and naturally so. Even if we attempt to base our view on Judeo-Christian principles we will realize that not even the creator of the universe loves unconditionally. For instance, in the renown scripture John 3:16 it says, " For God so loved the world, that he sent his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life". Therefore, the benefit to everyone, in the long run, is everlasting life but only if they believe which therefore means the condition is dependant on you believing.

Since we have established that love is conditional, we can probably even go as far to say that love is a learned behavior that can be affected depending on the conditions it is in or the situations that are presented towards. For example, Child A may grow up in an abusive home where the parents are constantly fighting verbally and physically while in another home, a Child B grows up seeing the parents living in peace and harmony where love is quite evident. Therefore from this example, we can assume that Child A will have a warped view on what love is while Child B will have more natural or realistic view on love.

In closing, in the 1st Corinthians 4-7, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres". This scripture speaks to what love should be and what people should expect it to be. In a perfect world, these characteristics of love would hold true but since we live in an imperfect world, we see individuals claiming to love others but they are impatient, envious, boastful, proud, disrespectful, selfish, angry and as a result, these create an atmosphere/condition where love changes or subsides. There is no such thing as unconditional love!