I might be one of the hardest won among us... I had my castle, a ridiculously opulent display of skills and gifts and very, very pretty words. I've lead so many good meaning people so far astray with a simple twist of the paraphrase - And I wonder why I'm thoroughly on my way to the grave at 32? My answer is in my face. And finally, I let that castle fall, and sat on the sand, and felt how uncertain it was. And how the nagging tides encourage my senselessly deceptive feeding of what appears to be very much godly, and never was. Because I was looking to BE loved! Why would I want that, now that I can see?? Rather ...

I'm so excited. I can't wait ... Because it's something I can only just tangentially comprehend, being a man. But it's something he asked me to do. Ever seen how happy a dog gets when he does the thing his person asked, even if it's just silly? And imagine that dog's man is in fact a boy. And that boy really wants to make his dad proud.

Yeah. I'll lay down Everything for that. Every single moment of every single day, to feel that Jesus' Word cannot be unfaithful, whatever it takes. I've never felt so little pain as in accepting the pain I feel. :)