LONELINESS

Loneliness simply mean “on your own”. The deepest need of a man is the need to overcome his loneliness, to leave the prison of his loneliness. Loneliness is not good at all.
It is the first thing God discovered that is not good for a man. Gen. 2:18 “it is not good that a man should be alone…” Eccl. 4:10 “woe to him that is alone, when he falleth for he hath not another to help him up”.

I am one person on earth that hates loneliness far more than anything else; most of my friends know that about me. If there is anything a friend could do to please me easily is to give me attention or pay me a visit, you can easily get my normal me, most especially, when I have enough free time. We can talk, play, share experiences and challenges, eat and more importantly argue very well. That notwithstanding, I don’t lose my senses in either of the above. As we talk, gist, etc, I must be conscious of what am saying as well as your replies, so as to derive sense from our conversation in case needs arises that needs such experiences in future.

Now, there was a lady that paid me unexpected visit few days back. She is my long time friend, by the grace of God, we have known each other for over fifteen years now. I was very excited to see her after some years she travelled out of the state. I dedicated the whole of that day to her, we gist very well.
Immediately they brought light, she plugged in my laptop and begins to operate. Fortunately or unfortunately to her, she came in contact with one of the papers I presented in one seminar. The seminar was all about “difficulty in finding true life partner among youth” so, I wrote on causes of husband scarcity in Nigeria, precisely my state.

When she saw the captions, she laughed. Who deceived you that husbands are scared in this country? She asked. Personally, there is how I attempt questions that I don’t really want to prolong or discuss on it. So, how many have you married before since you born? Or are you not of age? I asked. She quickly replied “I am not yet ready for that, okay? So how will you know that something is scarce when you are not interested on such thing? I asked. Because she is a troublesome being, she wired me with another question. So wives are not scarce? Where is your own??

Hmm! I was wounded. But I tried to reply. Wives are not scarce, but only a good wife that is scarce likewise husband. You see? She asked. She proceeded, now let me tell you, there is nothing like good or bad wife, okay? When you are hard working, earn your money, prepare yourself financially and materially, then you get a woman. Such a woman must be automatically good for you.

I smiled and quickly pictured where she was aiming at. Her reasoning was in-line with what I learnt on that seminar. I couldn’t say anything to her for a while, rather I meditated. If I ask this lady to tell me the quality of a man she would love to marry. Definitely, she will say handsome, have money, have his house and at least a car, have business etc, at time she may include God-fearing just to fancy it a bit. For me to be satisfied, I had to mention the above qualities to her, and added, that’s the type of man you would love to marry. Yes of course. She replied. Now tell me how you will not have a better home with better wife when you are capable of providing all of her needs. She added.

Sincerely speaking, at that very moment my countenance changes because I was shock of what I heard. But I just understood with her. I decided to ask her, can you tell me the most important gift that God himself deposited on women? She replied No. I told her it’s NURTURING and HELPING gifts.

Now listed, I proceeded. Do you know that most ladies nowadays are not utilizing these gifts knowingly or unknowingly? Many marriages I witness, is either the NURTURED MARRIAGE or READYMADE MARRIAGE. Most of the broken homes we have today are as a result of readymade marriage. Even the bible advice that one should not reap where he/she did not sow. Readymade marriage can only last a bit if and only if a woman is able to bear the pains of LONELINESS. Loneliness will surely come because you will not be there for each other in the time of special need, not only money, rather, in term of attention, care, respect, love etc. The car she drives, the house she lives in, the money she is busy spending. At time, is a woman like you used her gifts to bring that man to the standard you see, that contributed to those materials, was probably dumped, disappointed because of you. And you want to have peace. The bible says that there is no peace for the wicked. Now tell me how you will enjoy?

Nurtured marriage is the best. Never be deceived. There you will experience longevity, peace, understanding, endurance, support, respect, togetherness, blessing, cooperation, love, more especially, it scare away everlasting loneliness.

One young lady said something like that somewhere, maybe because some guys where there. She said “I cannot suffer now in my father’s house, then go and begin another suffering with a man. I know my worth; I cannot marry a poor man. I don’t do things with all these small poor guys. Anybody that will marry me most have money for sure, of course am a graduate”

Hm! I captured very small but important statement from what she said “I know my worth. Of course, I am a graduate” so because she is a graduate, as such, she deserve a readymade man. Sister, sorry ooo, I know your case most be different shaa, but do you consider many graduates out there without husband? Are you of the sense that most working class ladies are now looking for students to secure as their husband? In case you are not aware, please be ware now, it’s absolutely true.

Please change your mentality now and see yourself as A BUILDER, A NURTURER, AN HELPER, with that potentials that was deposited on you naturally by God Himself. Always be a NEED to a man and not WANT. If you place yourself at the point of WANT, when the time for NEED comes, there is no way you won’t be drop. There you shall remain alone for too long. Note that God promised to supply our NEEDS and not WANTS. Be ware!!!