Thorn in my Flesh Part 2 (@catietan life series)

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Upon returning to La Union, a friend introduced me to a lady massage therapist commonly known as “hilot”. At first I didn’t like her and I was really hesitant because I thought she’s a quack doctor or an “albularyo” but then my friend told me that she’s not a faith healer。She specializes in opening up blocked nerves .

Eventually, I underwent treatment with her and although my health improved, One day, I was introduced to a missionary by my friend who is a pastor (from another church). The missionary ask me about what kind of medication or treatment I had. I told her that I had a regular massage therapist. Unknowingly, God was using this Pastor’s friend to convict me through the Holy Spirit for I was already held in bondage to the massage therapist … like I was always the one who had to adjust to her schedule and there came a time when I just realized that I was somehow getting dependent to her treatment. And she handled me for almost 10 long years. I finally decided to look for another therapist who is a fellow believer.

With my health condition (still in question) I asked myself how come I promised God during my struggle between life and death, to give my life to Him and serve Him but with my physical health condition, how can I do that?
In addition, I still have to work the whole day, from Monday to Saturday, then half day on Sunday. Praise God for I was able to attend evening worship service in another Christian church, and attend Friday nights dgroup meetings and attend activities at CCF (Christ Commission Fellowship) but still I felt it was limited. There was still a hunger…a desire for something more… deep within me, I know that I can’t fully serve the Lord as I want to be….. I attend Sunday worship in other churches but there’s a desire within me to get involved in the ministry and that has been a struggle for many years…

I must admit that my father is not a Christian and ever since business has been his foremost priority. Every day is a day to do business, and even though at times I wish it were different, I did try my best to obey him all throughout those years.

There were so many nagging questions going through my mind. Questions which demanded answers;
Such questions as:
Why do I have to work till Sunday?
How can I serve Him with this uncomfortable health condition?
How will I effectively serve Him if my Sundays are spent to earn and serve mammon (money)- I know that the bible says we cannot serve two masters at the same time… we only have to choose one between the Lord God and mammon or material wealth.

I tried once to leave the store and let my friend take over for awhile so that I could attend worship service but my parents upon knowing this got mad at me. I cried out to God and prayed that my father will allow me to close the store during Sundays. Oftentimes he is not always here in La Union because of the nature of his work…There came this opportunity when one night he was in such a good mood but still I was really hesitant to talk with him. I guess the appropriate term is scared. I don’t know what to do except to pray and call my friend and ask what to do and how to do it… after dinner I went to his room, then asked him if its ok to just close the store on Sundays, a time for me to have rest, because of my back pain….It seems almost unbelievable to hear him say “it’s all up to you” (“Ikaw ang bahala”)…”Hah! Sounds like not my father…I expected arguments, questions, scolding etc….but he just said it’s up to me… I later learned from my mom that he was not happy with it but I know that God was working on my behalf.
Still there were so many things going through my mind whether to push through or not. I know what the Lord wants but how about my father? I was torn between my desire to serve God and my duty to please my father. Lots of friends and my mentor encouraged me to step forward and to make a stand for it, still I had this fearsome hesitation at the back of my mind.

Until on that particular Sunday when I woke up around 2am and the Lord spoke to me through my devotion time. The bible verse for that particular devotion was in:
Exodus 23:12;
"Six days do your work, but on the seventh day do not work, so that your ox and your donkey may rest and the slave born in your household, and the alien as well, may be refreshed.”
Clearly it was a conviction from the Lord.” God has spoken… so ….since July 19, 2009 in obedience to the Lord, my store has been closed during Sundays. When regular customers ask me why? My usual reply was “it’s the Lord’s day!”…from thereon I attended Sunday worship at CCF ….even with body pains and aches…

How great and awesome is our God who is ever so faithful…so good…so loving…so caring…so powerful…so mighty…sovereign…always in control…In His own time, in His own way, He makes all things possible. He loves me and gave me another chance to live so that I could serve him in a simple way that would glorify His name.

Daily I still feel the pain, and numbness all over my body; but God continually gives me the grace and strength to move on….…keep on… live on… live my life to the fullest …that is all according to His mercy, love and grace. It’s all according to His will not mine. I know that this body is just temporary; and as promised in the word of God, time will come when I will have a glorious body in a place where there will be no weeping, no crying, no pain, no sickness and no death…a place where I will be in the presence of God forever.

FOR    MY    GOD   IS   MY   GOD   OF   MY   FOREVER…

With God’s mercy and grace, a test has turned into testimony, a trial into triumph and a victim into victory.
To the Lord God Almighty I give the highest glory, the greatest honor and eternal praise!

This is the link to my part 1 of Life Series :

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Thank you for reading my testimony..
I am Catherine Tan a.k.a @catietan

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