Fatherless Sons...

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I’m not speaking of the sons who have lost their fathers to death...but the ones who’s fathers are still alive. There is no relationship between them and if there is it’s very little. There is no father son bonding, no fatherly discipline, no one on one man to man talks, no showing the ropes, no gentlemen training and no fatherly love.

A boy needs his father to help shape him into the man he will one day be. Whom is a little boy to look up to if they don’t have a positive man example in front of them? Without proper guidance what direction is he to take? Will he have confidence in himself knowing he has a father out there that chooses not to come around or not to be found? Who will teach him the manly skills he needs to survive and to raise his own family? Will he walk in the footsteps of his father and not be there for his family...since that is the only thing his father has taught him? When will this cycle end?

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My eyes begin to water as I write this post. I know way too many fatherless sons and it breaks my heart. Sad to say some of these fathers I am speaking of are in my own family.

I have seen the negative effects that growing up without a father has on a man. He questions himself and his abilities, he struggles bonding with his own sons, he doesn’t handle finances well, he doesn’t know his worth, makes poor decisions that gets him in trouble and makes excuses for himself. These are some of the things I have witnessed that fatherless sons go through.

Training and discipline starts in the home. If a child does not have the proper foundation to set them up in life, it can be a very long and hard road ahead of them. Family structure is so important and those who lack an active father in their lives suffers for it.

Statistics show:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes

• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes

• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes

• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes

• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

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I truly believe that if more fathers would raise their children there would be less crime and abuse going on in today’s society. There will be no need for them to run out to the streets to find what they need or what they’ve been missing. They would get that love, care and attention right from their own homes.

Mothers that are raising their sons on their own try their best to be both parents. But there is nothing like a father and son relationship. God designed it that way. It was meant for a son to look to his father for certain teachings and guidance just as a daughter to a mother, but sadly the opposite is happening.

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Isn’t this a beautiful picture? A father and son bonding spending quality time together. I have a friend who desires a closer relationship with his father. He yearns for his father to feel the same way. He wasn’t apart of his life growing up, only short visits and sending him money from time to time.

Recently my friend’s brother passed away. This left him to be the only surviving son. He thought to himself

surely my brother’s passing will bring us closer together, especially since I am now his only son.

No...it didn’t. He still chases his father in hopes that he will one day chase him back. Whenever his children sees his father they always asks “who is that man?” The visits and returned calls are so far in between that the children can never remember their grandfather (except for the older ones).

Dear fathers, this is a cry out for change. If you have a son out there that you are not involved with and have control over changing that, please do so. He needs you. No matter how many years it’s been, no matter how old he is now he still needs you. Please reach out to your son and be that father in his life that you were meant to be.

Dear sons, it is not your fault your father is distant from you. A grown man makes his own decisions and he has to live with the consequences. I am sorry you have had to walk alone. Those of you who has their mothers in their lives I’m grateful for you. A mother’s love is unmatchable and to have that is such a blessing. You are worth it, you are special and have a purpose here. Know your Father in heaven loves you and will never leave nor forsake you. Keep your head up.

1 John 4:16 KJV- “And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.”

Deuteronomy 31:8 KJV - “And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.”

This post is dedicated to the boys and men out there who have broken hearts because of their father’s absence in their lives ~

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