The Rules of Getting Married in China

Who doesn’t love a good wedding especially when you’re in a foreign country everything is still so interesting. Food, drinks, music, and people to meet that you’d probably never get the chance to otherwise.

There are some real deal breakers here in China that us western folks might find to be “Killers of Love” but they are not easy to get around here. On top of the customary rules there will probably be some imposed on the man by his future wife’s family that he will need to address before he can make her his only one.

First, the one that baffles me most coming from Canada where I never heard anyone, a cultural thing anyways, having to adhere to upfront.

That the man must own his home. It doesn’t really matter how big it is but obviously if he can afford a big place he will have a better chance of landing the girls family then if he didn’t have one at all. This is the most important and all Chinese men seek to own their home as soon as possible, like who in the world doesn’t want that. I would love to own my own home, hell maybe even a few, the time is coming. Most men in China will never own their own home, housing is just too expensive and too many jobs just don’t offer a salary big enough.

The freedom of financial security is the real reason for this. See in China, being the capitalist state that it is, more so than America in several ways, owning a house is security. In China if you get really sick you will have to pay for a doctor out of pocket. Sure there is some government assistance when you’re in the hospital but it is never enough, just the bare basic care.

So, owning your home in advance of a life altering illness gives the man some leverage as he can get a loan or sell his house to pay for medical costs.

(They will visit every table and have shot of Bai Jiu, Chinese alcohol)

Secondly, the woman’s parents knowing that she is the greatest woman on earth must be able to rest assured that her man can take care of her better than they can now that they are getting old and soon won’t even be able to take care of themselves, thus relying on the bigger family unit to help out as is the custom in China. Generally speaking the wife would take care of her husband’s aging parents while expecting her brother’s wife to care for hers. BUT the one child policy fucked it all up and they didn’t address it in the culture until the past year by allowing two children. That’s another article entirely.

My friend here and manager for the company I work for was given another task before he was allowed to marry. He had to get his driver’s license. Now having just bought a new home he is off the hook to buy a car but at least he can drive.

Chinese weddings are fun and quick and lots of delicious food. No mention of god, just an exchanging of vows, a speech from the father’s and if you’re in a respected position at your work the boss will also give an encouraging speech.

(the big boss)

We all get a loot bag to say thank you for coming and witnessing our special day. All guests are also expected to give some money, lots of money depending on your relationship with the couple. I was just an employee for a few years so I don’t think I was obligated to give more than the few hundred RMB I gave. Though do keep in mind hosting a wedding party is expensive so whatever you give should at least cover your own expense plus a bunch more.

(premium cigarettes and candy, better than Halloween, lol)

I'm sure it's all worth it. So, what's next, he has a home, he has a wife, he has a great job with lots of friends? I suppose he's looking forward to retirement. ^^