WHAT factors decide/influence how many children you want to have?
- I think the first and foremost thing to consider is that the decision about the number of children a couple should have, has to be taken by the wife. It becomes the responsibility of the husband to give her the space and value her opinion because giving birth is one of the most painful experiences a female can have in her life. Also to keep in mind the fact that she has to take care and carry the baby in her womb for 9 months. The mother has to go through many changes physically and mentally in her life when she is ready to conceive a child. Not only can it get very exhausting but taking delicate care of the child for the next few months is also an equally critical period as a mother.
2. Second thing to be taken into consideration is the financial aspect of the family. Many women feel the need to take sabbatical from work for a few years so to have a desired upbringing of their children, which can put a financial strain on the whole family. Also it depends upon what kind of lifestyle you imagine to give to each of your children and for yourselves. If you are content with a normal and stress free lifestyle and can afford all your children's education fees than you can think of having three or more off springs. But if you can't compromise on your luxury or have some the future concerns on whether can you afford education or not, I think a single child or two can also help you in leading a dream life.
3. Third and most overlooked part is not analyzing and forecasting the status of global economy and present consumption of our mother earth's resources. If the rate of increase in global population does not steady in future you have to keep in mind that the amount of facilities or resources each individual can get is going to shrink day by day.
Even after disregarding above points, I believe any couple actually know within their hearts the number of children they can have to lead a content and satisfied life.
You sound to a modern man to me. I have 5 children. If it comes to their ages there is a big difference. My eldest could be the mom of the youngest two.
If I could do it all over I would not take children at all or perhaps just one.
I am worried about my youngest two, about their future and lack of freedom.
It was not the non stop feeling sick , vomiting, bleedings and extreme allergied during the pregnancies, nor the pain of giving birth that was the worst, but the fact I came out with a sick and broken body, bladder, kidneys, etc which will never cure.
It is something you do not count with and no it is not worth the child if you are always sick. I raised my children alone, had to work as well since their dads were just passing by to show off.
They were not all my choice at first, since it simply does not work that way. If a man wants a child the child will come, one way or the other, but I choose to take care of them and took all the responsibility to make them happy.
Nobody ever cared about me, my emotions or feelings or hormons. Right after giving birth (at home) I started to work again. I cleaned and cooked and went back at work. Since the first was born (35 years ago) I mainly slept for only 2-3 hours.
I think normally speaking money should not be such a big issue, till the moment they start going to school. For the youngest two it will not be possible to study, although they are high intelligent. There is no money and I do not want them to borrow it from the state and pay it back for the next 34 years or longer like their dad did.
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I am overwhelmed by just reading this and I can only imagine the range of emotions you had to go while expressing it.
It's true that men have very little consideration for all the changes a woman's body goes through while giving birth. It is also just heartbreaking to hear when a mother dies during the process of delivering her baby.
I can understand what you are trying to say here. It doesn't do any justice to the child also if the mother becomes so weak to take care of herself let alone the child.
I am not married yet and I have not seen life as long as you have but I do wonder from time to time what kind of parent I will be if I ever going to have children because it doesn't matter what kind of person you raise he/she will impact lives of many others.
I have personally witnessed the hardships a single mother has to go through even for raising a single child. Even after not only successful upbringing a child and paying for their tuition, marriage the woman is ridiculed and labelled selfish.
I admire and respect for what you have gone through and I sincerely hope everything in your life and your childrens' will turn out to be okay at the end.
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Nice Post. I agree I think it is the woman's decision to bear children and how many children. I have three children and I watched each one be born, and the pain my e-wife went through is unimaginable. we men are lucky in a regard that we have never felt such pain. They say men can endure pain better than women, I don't know, I for some reason doubt it. Anyone who can push a bay out, is tough as nails. My last two children happened so quick they were natural births and no epidural involved. All can is WOW!
And I agree with about forecasting the economy. I never thought of it, but it a good point.
And one thing I have notice, and I've heard in other places as well, is the less educated a person the more children they have, and were I live there are a lot of people on welfare and they keep popping out kids. And I'm like why? you can't even afford the one you have. I feel so sorry for the kids. There is a family that lives about a mile down the road from me and they have seven kids, one was just born, and live in rotten single wide trailer that is falling apart. The parents don't work, they peddle in drugs, and draw welfare. And it is such a shame, children deserve only the best, and it is big responsibility. But I have also noticed people who have jobs and are educated have one to three children. I'm not sure why education plays a part in bringing kids to the world, but it does, at least where I'm from.
Nice Post!
Absolutely agree over that. Sad to hear the state of affairs over there, but it is no less different in my country. We are communities of varied culture and beliefs. And there are many politicians and 'religious gurus' who try to take advantage of this situation to their own benefit.
Politicians promote in having a large family for their supporters so that their own dynasty continue to remain in power for the coming decades.
The gurus of different religions advise their followers not to do any family planning and leave it to the Supreme God to take care of their children. Because they fear they will have no relevance in future if population following them and their beliefs go on decreasing.