Parenting A Strong-Willed Child

Being a parent exposes you to a number of challenges. While there can be parenting books which are available to help us, still, our own personal experiences are the best way to how we can be able to come up in finding solutions in every situation.
There are different types of behaviors and we can well see that from our own children. We all raise them up the same way but for some reasons, there would be a child that can be harder to handle than the rest. A first-time mom may find herself crying in one corner not knowing what to do. But really, there is a solution for everything and it all starts with a loving heart of a mother.

One of the challenges that most parents would encounter is having a strong-willed child. What is a strong-willed child? This is a type of child who is pretty much reluctant to follow instructions and has his own way of doing things.
How many times have you asked yourself if you are fit to be the mother of your child? This may be because of the number of times that you feel that you have failed in raising your children the right way. But don’t be hard on yourself. A loving mother always knows what is right for her children. And it is in the matter of better understanding the behavior of each child will you be able to see how gratifying it is to become a mother.

Characteristics of a Strong-willed Child
Do you have a child that constantly insists on making thing his own way? It can be amazing on how such a small child can manifest such conviction to a certain degree. For some instances, this kind of behavior may have a positive effect. But other times, it can be annoying and may really need to have some “special arrangements” to have that harmonious relationship within the household.

The following are the common characteristics of a strong-willed child:
a. It is very typical for a strong-willed child not to accept “no” for an answer. He may feel that he has every reason to get what he wants.
b. A child will always want to do things on his own – at his pace, on his own time.
c. He may force himself to be wide awake no matter how sleepy and tired he feels.
d. He may become too bossy when playing with other children. He will always assign himself to be the “captain of the ship”.
e. You may not find yourself being able to know how to handle situations when your child becomes a control-freak.
f. He can become too restless and gets irritated easily.
g. He may not find too much compassion with others that he will always insist on wanting to have the best for him all the time.
h. It is very common that a strong-willed child will get into several debates in a day. He will always insist on what he thinks is right and will never give up on letting people know that his stand is concrete.
i. You can never force a strong-willed child to do something that he is not interested in doing. Example, you will ask him to help set the table for dinner. It will always be a “no” or he may end up banging tables and chairs.
j. A strong-willed child can be adventurous, risk taker or a thrill-seeker. He may not wait for something to be taught to him but would initiate on knowing and exploring new things.
k. Your child may be more focused on things that interest him.
l. Have such a fiery attitude which can drive you crazy sometimes.
Having said all these, do you think you can still put yourself together and become the good mom that everyone else expects you to be? Of course! You can! And yes, you have no choice. As soon as you have conceived that child in your womb, your role has been extended to not just the mother of the child but as well as his first teacher. And that means being your child’s guide throughout his lifetime.

Tips on How To Deal with a Strong-Willed Child
I have dealt with so many challenges raising my own children. And there were times that I would blame myself for not making them the kind of children that I want them to be. But this does not mean that I have raised monsters. But I guess, we just need to accept the fact that each one of us is unique and that each child may need a different level of understanding.

• Always take time to talk to your children and instill in them the values that you have been raised with. No parent would teach bad things to her children. And it is any parent’s responsibility to mold her child to become a God-fearing individual and to grow as responsible individuals filled with love, respect, and understanding.

• If your child happens to be uncooperative in certain situations, instead of giving them punishments, talk some sense into them. Sometimes, they just need more explanation before they can fully understand the message you are relaying to them. Research showed that punishing your children for their wrongful acts can be detrimental to their mental health. Some mothers may become too harsh when disciplining their children. And one of their excuses is that they are too burdened with so many things every day and that they let out their frustrations over their children. Our children are not aware how much load we carry each and every day. And their young minds would only understand a fraction of what is truly happening. Instead of making yourself and your children suffer, designate tasks for each of your children and teach them how to be “little moms” in their own way.

• Do you treat all your children equally? That is one thing that parents should always do. Choosing one over the other may start a lifetime of anger between siblings. This may be one of the common reasons why siblings grow apart. When parents make praises to a specific child, the other child may feel left out. Always try to appreciate even the smallest achievements of all children and never favor one over the other.

There are also situations wherein a certain child may be suffering from a medical condition. Then this child happens to do some bad behavior. Instead of correcting the wrong act, some parents would just let it pass and does not explain the consequences of the wrongful act. This is giving a wrong signal to that child. He may think that he can always get away with everything because his medical condition serves as his “pass” to do just anything that he wants, regardless if he makes his other siblings feel bad or hurt.

• Let your children understand situations rather than leaving them with unanswered questions. Never leave your children in the dark when there are issues that your children should know about. Sometimes, we, as parents, would want to share them with what is truly happening in the family. But we should not let them be second guessing all the time. Prevent your children from having to conclude on something which can make them see things differently from the truth.

• Shower your strong-willed child with love but not to the point of spoiling them. No matter what kind of behavior your child has, it is our responsibility to give our love and support to our children. It does not mean giving in to their wrongful behavior. But rather, help them realize that part of the love that we give them is the discipline that will make them good individuals. Your child may not fully understand what you say all the time. But sometimes, just by giving them a hug and saying “I love you” can make a huge difference.

No matter how your strong-willed child may drive you insane sometimes, your love as a mother will always soften your heart and be your child’s guiding light wrapped with compassion and understanding. When you give time to enlighten your child’s wrong or unusual behavior, you don’t just teach them to be good children but as well as good Christians and member of your community.