Chemtrails Trying to Kill Us With Cotton Candy?

Whoa, chemtrails going pink now? First you were trying to kill us with water vapor and now these airplanes are shitting cotton candy in the skies above! It is suspected that large quantities of cobalt or manganese are entering our atmosphere every time the "clouds" turn pink. These same chemicals are known to cause defects in the human population such as nose acne, horniness and narcissism. The great irony is, this makes us harder to control.

Make sure to duct tape the spaces around your windows and do not go out after dark. Right around dusk seems to be when the pink colors in the chemtrails are most alarming and it happens regularly almost every day now. After dark, they could be purple for all we know, since we cannot see what conspiracies are unfolded in our airways.

Remain calm. Return home in time and curfew thyself.