Should I Stay or Should I Go? That is the “new” question in youth cheerleading

With overflowing calendars these days, many young people do not know whether they are coming or going. It seems as though the most important thing to do, is simply to do things. And frankly, these things are usually what everyone else is doing. There are many opportunities for success through sports for girls these days that at times it may seem overwhelming. They want to be involved and make friends, they want to be part of something. Or at least they think they do. Sometimes they change their minds about what they want to do or where they want to do it, and we appease them. But is it always what’s in their best interest? Are we really helping our younger generation learn to be the best that they can be? Are we are teaching them the core values necessary to build solid relationships, whether they be family, social, or work-related. Getting kids involved in healthy activities is an absolute necessity, especially with the world the way it is today, but encouraging them to stay with that activity is probably just as important.

What do I do when my child isn’t “happy”?
It is a parent’s natural instinct to make their children happy. Kids often want to participate in an activity that looks fun to them, but then when there is a little bit of work involved, the no longer see the “fun” in it. Cheer, for example, has an old school image of pom pom shaking and “Give me an A - Give me a B”. Even if a girl has caught a glimpse of a modern competition, the super smiles and ultra choreographed routines are revealed looking so effortless, it is often misleading. Spectators sometimes do not realize the sweat and tears that are the outcome of the countless hours of training prior to putting on the ultimate show. After joining a gym or cheer club, some girls, (who were originally confident they had the skills to participate in the sport) realize it takes more work than they thought and lose the drive to participate, without even really giving cheer a chance. Part of the benefit of cheerleading is the opportunity to learn the life lesson that nothing in life comes easy and if it does, it’s probably not worth having.

The happiness of our kids is always our top concern, but sometimes we have to hold out and encourage them to stick with their decision long enough that they can get to the “happy” part. Routines, classes, camps, pretty much any cheerleading activity is rarely fun until you start to meet your goals, get new skills, or get to competition.

How do I prevent my child from quitting?
First, before making a commitment to a program set a trial period with your child is imperative that once a child is allowed to participate in cheer, or any sport, that there be a minimum trial period set. If you are on a team your trial period maybe the season. Require your child to finish the commitment he or she made and then have a conversation about if returning for another season is something he may want to do. Besides teaching a lesson in perseverance and commitment, requiring them to follow through with the season also teaches a lesson of loyalty.

I’ve spent many nights of my childhood sitting in the kitchen complaining to my parents about my coaches, teammates, and teams. But my parents instilled in me the importance of following through with what I had committed to because I had made a commitment to myself and to my teammates! When joining a cheer squad, the girls must realize that they are joining a family.

What if my daughter isn’t connecting with his teammates?
Since routines, stunts, and tumbling take a lot of practice, the team usually spends a number of hours together each week. These invaluable hours encourage a bond that should last a lifetime. There is nothing better in this world then to have a friend for life, especially one you can trust. But sometimes your child might not find that one person that they really gell with. I didn’t. But I loved the sport and my parents encouraged me to participate for me not for the social life that some other athletes were there for.

There may be times when your child approaches you with a complaint that someone on the team may not have been too nice. Things get hectic in cheer. Competitions require precision. Precision takes practice, and practice can get brutal. Girls sometimes say things to each other that might be perceived as mean, or may even be flat out bluntly condescending. Cheerleaders need to have an understanding that sometimes we all get frustrated and words may come out that we don’t mean. They need to be taught how to work these issues out before walking away from a team that relies on them, or they rely on. If a girl feels like she is being bullied, they should speak to the coach and see if there is a solution to this problem. Quitting should not be one of those solutions because in the real world of life running away will never be the best solution.

What if she doesn’t want to quit the sport, just the team?
Although not actually quitting, leaving a team to join another one is sometimes just as bad. Giving your all to a team is as important as giving your all to the sport. Teammates rely on each other. If one girl leaves to join another team, the domino effect is put into action. One girl leaves, another one wants to go to be with her. They may have had a bond, but the bond runs strong throughout the team. When girls leave, whether it is one or ten, the foundation of the team begins to deteriorate. The trust begins to fade. There is a level of trust necessary to perform, and if people are coming and going, it is impossible to build that trust.

Should my child stay or go?
Unless there is a reason beyond anyone’s control, if your child asks to leave a team to participate in another one the answer should be frankly, “no”. It teaches them that giving up okay. That turning your back on your friends is acceptable. It teaches them that they don’t need to see things through. One reason for becoming part of a team is to learn valuable lessons. Young girls might think those lessons simply revolve around dance routines and acrobatics, but deep down they learn so much more than that. These lessons are the ones that will carry them through life and enable them to be successful in many other endeavors they might have. Persuading them to stay on the team will only help them to become more awesome than they already are! And in the end, that’s really all we want! So, should they stay or should they go? There is only one answer to that question: Stay. You won’t regret it.