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RE: Why Men Cheat..
I've actually been known to make breakfast in bed for my husband and one of his overnight female guests. I've done it more than once. It's my way of saying, "Thank you for taking him off of my hands for a while." :) Really, it's as good for me as it is for him, because after you've been married a while, you really appreciate it when you get time on your own to do your own thing. When he's having fun with another woman, I can go do my own thing with total freedom, like pursue my hobbies or spend time with my friends, and not be concerned that he's at home alone being bored without me. It's a win-win doing things this way, and as this is the way we've always done it, it feels normal to us.
Wow. I know most women would rather know who her man is with and most cases I know about, the man and the woman actually shares that woman and this makes it better for them. But i know most women dont swing that way. Personally i feel closer to a woman if that happens where we both make love to another woman. So would you say its a open relationship both ways where you have your freedom to sleep with another or you reslly just need to do other things by yourself and you really appreciate thr help from the others? Sounds like I am interviewing you doesnt it? Lol
Lol! I'm not interested in going out and sleeping with other men, so that's not part of our agreement. He has mentioned that if I wanted to do it, he'd be okay with it, but would want to be there. Basically, I look at him sleeping with other women as his hobby. I give him space to indulge in his hobby, and I get time to do the things I enjoy on my own. As an introvert, doing things on my own is often a real pleasure. We've tried being with another woman together, and he enjoys it, but I am totally heterosexual. Not even a little bisexual. So, any time we've done that, I've just done it to make him happy, and didn't get any enjoyment out if it myself. It actually kind of made me feel weird. So, I do prefer he just do that kind of thing without me.
As you can probably tell, I am NOT the jealous type. Lol! :)
LOL. I can tell. You are at one with the universe. Calm and happy. You will continue to be healthy as stress is the number one killer. Stress free is the way to go and that's why now I don't get jealous anymore. My fiance cheated some years ago but had no respect to me afterwards so I moved on. I would have allowed her to sleep with any man she wanted to if only she told me she wanted that and I told her this when I suspected she was sleeping around. She didn't. Now I don't really care about that. I am just enjoying my partner now and ignoring her when she wants to start an argument about trivial matters. I don't hide the fact that I flirt because I don't want to lie about anything. I do show respect and not let her feel little in front of friends so I have a rule, never flirt with any woman I am with friends no matter if I see that they like me. Life is too short for crazy confrontations though and men will always want something different and it's not because he doesn't love the woman. It's not a big deal and I wish more women would see that. I own nobody and nobody owns me. I was born by myself so no woman should want to control me and tell me not to do this and not to do that. Once I have respect for her and I show her love I think I deserve to be myself without any nagging. If she wants the fake me I can do that to make her happy but then I will be hiding things and many women don't know that how they react is why men hide stuff in the first place.
"I own nobody and nobody owns me."
I totally believe this, and live by it. We are all autonomous beings, and free to do and choose what is best for us. Anyone who tries to control us is not someone who really loves us. They're either control freaks who think they own everyone, or they are insecure and think we'll leave them if they don't stop us by controlling us. However, what they don't know is if you try to control someone, they're most likely going to leave you eventually, anyway. It's always better to be yourself in a relationship, and give each other the freedom to be yourselves.
I agree 100%. Do you have a book on this stuff? You sound like you have a lot to teach
I've written two non-fiction books and two novels, and am currently writing a third novel. I SHOULD write a book on this subject. :)
Yes I think you should, I think it will interest a lot of people. I just posted a follow up on the topic. Please check it out and give some feedback from a woman's perspective.
I will. If you could check out my newest Badass Women of History post, too, I would appreciate it. :)