Molly Days: A Day In The Life of a Cat

I share this space with numerous other cats - six, as a matter of fact. Five of them are other cats like me, except they have figured out a way to walk on their hind legs, and a sixth... Who is slightly enigmatic and honestly quite troublesome.

I have decided to share my daily rituals as a cat as a testament to my life, that I am certain no other cats experience the pleasures of. The joy of my unique life has led me to ascertain that other cats in other territories should consider adopting a lifestyle such as mine - a life of pure decadence and luxury.

0930: There is rumbling upstairs. That means the First and Second cats are returning from hunting. That means a number of things for me: One - it is time to be fed with the night's killings, and two - there will be company with which to relieve my boredom.

1000: The Second cat displays great hunting prowess. She presents the killings for the night, and they somehow appear from within in a large, dark, hard skin. The flesh of the prey in this territory is rather unusual, and tend to be some kind of brown organ. Whatever the prey was, it possesses a great many of these organs.

1100: Occasionally, I enter the Void, the land outside my territory. As it is outside my legal jurisdiction and right to land as a Cat, I do not feel at ease, but there are a great many smells. Sometimes, the foliage rustles with the movement of skink lizards, who always seem to want to play. I entertain them, for I am a Cat of the people.
1200: It is bathtime. If it looks like it needs a lick, lick it.

1300: At this time, the First and Second cats look preoccupied with something. I don't like this, so I develop schemes to interrupt them and get their attention. Today I will jump on their tables and walk over and sit on the things they seem to be so focused on. That'll show them!

1330: Growing weary of their antics, I head to any one of my favorite locations to rest. This is usually a good time to be high, but I require the assistance of one of the larger cats to get there. I enjoy a wide vantage point to observe my subjects. Today, I think I will remain here.
1500: I know I can get down from here by myself... I just don't want to. All I have to do is indicate a desire to be on the ground and my wish is granted.

1600: There are hands on me. For some reason, these salacious creatures are obsessed with the space at the base of my tail. I do not mind, so I thusly present it to them. Obsess away!
1700: There it is. The time has come. It is the dreaded Sixth cat, making its daily appearance. This cat is most problematic, for it mocks me everso greatly. I treat this cat with the most disdain that I can muster, but this only fuels its effectiveness at souring my mood. Luckily, this cat does not linger, and is gone as soon as I tire of its antics.

1800: Everything begins to settle at this time, and my area is usually quite devoid of activity. I usually stare out the door until something interesting happens.

1900: I have just been to the toilet. I can't remember why I use this box, but a part of me seems indentured to it. That said, there is something liberating about the act of relieving myself. I will do two things: First I must dig and bury my shame, but this hard surface makes doing that quite difficult. Nevertheless, I shall prevail! Whilst doing that, I must plan what I'll do immediately afterwards.
1901: I figured it out! I will run! I feel so lightweight and aerodynamic that I must celebrate by spreading the smell of my labors for all to bask in!

2030: Sometimes, there are small critters up high above me. I am absolutely mesmerized by them, and I look forward to the day I will actually meet one up close. In the meantime, I believe that I can reach them if I can just... jump... high enough....

2200: There are restricted zones in this household, and I demand access to them. My favorite scratching places are here, at these steps that lead up to the restricted zones, affectionately known as 'upstairs', but doing so comes with great risk of being yelled at. I do not understand, but it feels oh so good to live this dangerously.

2330: The other cats are heading out for their nightly hunt. I think tonight will be a good one, as is every night. I await their return with the bounties.

0100: The silence of night leaves me with little to do, so I will spend time ensuring the security of my territory by patrolling the perimeter for a while.
0300: I feel most disagreeable. I think I need to be sick...

0700: I like to practice my rolling around on the floor at this time. My personal favorite are when clothes or shoes are left out, for they are covered in a most alluring scent for me to bury myself in.

0730: It is time to sleep, and I shall enjoy a little more before I am awoken by the cats returning home from the hunt.