How to sell a beater car in 24 hours or less
Hey guys? Got an old beater sitting around your property? Well, there's an ass for every seat - so if it isn't being used, let someone else have fun with it and sell it. Worried it can't sell?? Nonsense! Follow just a few simple guidelines and you will get your car gone soon!
First, ask a reasonable price; fair market value considering the time and parts that have been put into it.
Second, expect less, especially if you want it 100% in cash - people like to trade.
Third, bring life to your ride! Give it a back-story and make it funny! Consider the following ad; this car was sold just 12 hours after posting on Facebook public classifieds groups and it barely runs and drives. Don't we all have one of these around?
1985 VW Golf Diesel
Do you need a car that can run on vegetable oil? Leave passersby wanting french fries as you drive through the neighborhoods in your own Hooptie! Tired of those pesky computers getting in the way of your driving experience?? This tiny but awesome 1.6L diesel smashes fuel down to 23:1 of its original size and it runs on pure Freedom... mixed with diesel fuel! No computers!! Always paranoid about dings and scratches in your car's paint? This over-engineered German hunk of steel will win the paint swap contest every time, and he's got plenty of character to prove it! Cost of fuel getting you down? This rig will pull 50 mpg with a top speed of an astonishing 85mph... almost enough to time travel. Like to roll coal?? Surprise all your Cummins buddies when you roll some coal in their faces and scream down the street!!
OK clearly this vehicle is a complete piece of shit. The bastard does run and drive though!! Fires up; smokes like a bloody Cuban. Wires are hanging out all over the dash due to the installation of a lift pump to the ignition circuit, and someone REALLY wanted that car stereo more than me... Tires hold air. The suspension is clapped out; rear corner bounces like a damn trapeze.
Here is a list of shit I've done to make it less of a piece of shit:
Lift pump
Glow plugs
New Battery and terminals
Fuel Return Lines
Fuel filter
Transmission linkage
Air Filter
Fresh Deisel
People who should own this car:
VW enthusiasts
Guys named Haus
24 Hours of Lemons racers
Demo Derby Drivers
Preppers
Old School Mechanics
People who should avoid this car:
Milfs
Millenials
Employees of Swift
Anyone who doesn't like the Big Lebowski
So besides the obvious, there is one issue with the injector pump - no throttle control!! The actuator moves freely but nothing happens, the engine just idles at about 1500-2000 - fast enough to drive up a hill! It hauled ass in reverse up a hill to where it is parked now! Pretty sure it needs an injector pump rebuilt.