Your Career - Why You Need An Asshole Boss
At the beginning of my career, I had a few bosses that weren't that great. Some were nice, some were stern, and some just sort of took up space. Regardless, I was a bright-eyed kid out of college looking to make a name for myself and take on the world in my company. As I worked my way up the ranks in my twenties, I encountered my first asshole boss. We will call him Tim.
I had previously known Tim, who was about 20 years older than me, from visiting stores where he was a regional manager. At the time I wasn't super impressed, but he seemed like an OK guy. Now he was becoming my boss as a Vice President, and he had no previous experience in my department.
As I started to work for him, I realized he was a no-nonsense hardass. He had no personality, didn't joke around, and basically made people feel uncomfortable around him. He had no redeeming qualities to speak of, and was the pure definition of a company man. Not in a good sense, but in a way that made your skin crawl a little. Picture Bill Lumberg from office Space with a much more gruff personality. You would get anxiety when he came around you, because you knew it was to get on you or throw more work your way.
As time went on, I learned to tolerate his crap and figure out how to give him what he wanted to keep him off my back most of the time. That is until this one big project came up that I was picked to lead. Unfortunately, this project involved our IT team, and the leader was a hard-headed know-it-all who thought he was always right. As time went on, this project hit a couple bumps through no fault of my own, and we ended up having a meeting with our CFO and a couple other company leaders to discuss options. The issues were between IT and my boss, and the directions we need to go to solve some problems. Prior to this meeting, my boss and I met to prep for how to handle the questions that would come up, and to show a united front. During this discussion, he was in a great mood and was very nice to me. We were lockstep with each other on the solutions, and I actually felt like I had finally created a strong bond with Tim. I felt that maybe I was wrong about him, and he wasn't such a bad guy. And then it happened.
During the meeting, I started to lay out the plan that Tim and I discussed to solve the issues facing the project. After I finished, the CFO looked at Tim and asked him if he agreed with my plan. Tim looked at the IT leader, and then the CFO, and said "no". It took me a second to understand what he said. Once I realized he said that he did not agree with the exact plan that we created together, I just looked at him dumbfounded. The fix was in...this prick just threw me under the bus in front of the CFO and several other important leaders that I worked so hard to impress for years. I tried to ask him if he was saying he disagreed with part of it, and he said that he thought we should do exactly what the IT leader wanted to do. The CFO then said "great, let's do that", and it was done. I felt like Jimmy in Goodfellas when he found out Tommy was whacked and there was nothing they could do about it.
After the meeting, I confronted him. He flat out said that he did not agree with our plan, and acted like the discussion never happened. Lied straight to my face with no remorse or feeling. And I had to take it. I couldn't quit, I had a wife and kid on the way. I had to suck it up and work everyday with this guy, knowing he had no morals, and didn't care about anything but his own self-preservation. I ended up working for him another 6 months before I moved on.
The point of my story is this: The asshole boss is like a reset button to your whole little world. You learn that not everyone is like you. Not everyone wants to do things the right way and have integrity. Not everyone wants to get ahead the honest way. There are people out there that will eat you alive to keep their spot. Some bosses do it because they are afraid you may take their job someday, some do it because they have a power trip, and some do it because they are just vindictive, sadistic pricks that don't like to see other people happy. I once heard a boss say "Always keep a person between you and the door", meaning to have a fall guy in case something goes wrong. As bad as it sounds, that is what many bosses feel. It's a cold lesson to learn, but the sooner you learn it the better. Another quote you may hear is "kiss up and kick down", which means a boss will kiss up to their boss, but kick you down to keep you from getting ahead in your career.
As tough as it is, it's important to have an asshole boss at least once in your career. Not only will it help you appreciate the good bosses, it will help you tolerate the bosses that are just kind of assholes. It will help you be able to swim with the sharks, and play the games that you have to in order to be successful. It makes you a harder worker, and gives you the "grit" that you need to make it in this world. For me, it has helped me become a good leader to my teams. And when you are a good leader that has learned from the mistakes of other bosses, that makes your team respect you and admire you. And when that happens, it makes the asshole bosses in your company look bad, and they sometimes get fired. And that is the sweetest revenge.