Chapter 1. Reconnaissance

By far the most rewarding part of being a gorilla is acting like a gorilla. Action. Taking action is the greatest joy of all. Action necessitates two components of happiness; movement and nature. You are going to be moving, guaranteed. Your garden will have to in the remotest randomest natural habitats, and you will have to haul ass to get there. You'll probably need a packed lunch and a rain jacket! You might need a bus, a car, a bike, or a boat! The moment will come when you get up from where you sit, closing the door to the indoors behind you, as you venture out, into nature. That's the job description! Get up, get moving, get out in nature. Then what? Then wait. Wait for what? Nothing, we hope.

We never know what we're waiting for. We are waiting to see, if there's anything worth waiting for. Imagine you've highlighted a potential grow “basket” (more on this term to follow) and you've climbed through some bushes exploring unexplored undergrowth. When you pop your stupid head out of the hedge into the main pathway, a horse and rider is approaching! Don't flummox yourself like this. This kind of situation becomes awkward to explain yourself later. I know it seems small now, and you think you'd be able to brush it off easily in the moment; "I lost the dog" or "which way to the carpark, Im totally lost?". But this excuse will become more suspicious as 5 or 10 years time pass and you are spotted by the same horse riders, dog walkers, farmers, hikers, diving in and out of the same hedge. Eventually someone will begin to ask what is this monkey up to?

Wild Gorilla Gardener Handbook

Exclusive publishing through Steemit

Chapters are presented here in chronological “to-do” sequence, instructing what to do, step by step through one entire grow season, reconnaissance thru to harvest. Please do not skip ahead, each phase builds upon the next and skipping ahead may mean your foundations are not strong enough to support you later. This book is written to the reader without their own land suitable for a gorilla grow. This is 99% of gorillas out there. Most of the population have been forced into unnatural indoor grows. This book is not about that. There is much more exciting adventure awaiting on the mountain than there will ever be in your garage that looks more like a reflective silver spaceship inside! Not many monkeys have a garage or suitable sliver spaceship that could go undetected, but everyone has nature. Gorilla-ing there are no excuses for failure to act, as only one thing is rewarded; hard work. If you own your own land, there is still great benefit to reading many of these chapters.

The first thing to do is reconnaissance patrol of your special spots. Certainly you have already thought of a few spaces. Do not be lazy. Do not fall at the first hurdle. Simply because somewhere first came to mind, does not automatically mean it is the one. It's a good sign though, and should definitely deserve to be checked out. This may take one hour, this may take one year. It will depend what previous knowledge you have of the area and how hidden you will be. An area that is quick and easy for you to access is also quick and easy for all of your worst nightmares to happen.

The question about whether we put all our eggs in one basket, or spread our wings wide is a personal choice, but I will share my experience and recommendations with you for guidance. At first glance the obvious downside to growing all of your eggs in one basket is that if unfortunately discovered, everything is lost, including your garden-location. Next year you'll have to start from scratch. If we had, for example 3 basket locations and one was raided, at least we have two thirds of a harvest left. And we wont have to start from scratch. There is a great downside to this however. Next year. Someone somewhere knows what you're up, they're only uncertainty is where, which may heighten their observant eagle eye all the more. Avoid becoming a regular appearance anywhere, especially hot zones. At the very least, you're leading them straight to the end of your next rainbow.

There is another option, and it's what I suggest above all the others. It will take the longest, and it will be the safest longterm. This could take an entire winter of reconnaissance, but it will mean you never have to move garden, ever again. Our new goal is to locate 5 - 10 potential baskets, based on the following criteria;

Location, Location, Location.

• Close to water.
• Off the beaten track.
• Out of sight from passing roads.
• Out of sight from surrounding look outs.
• Out of sight access enter / exit points.
• Unobscured Sunlight, for at least 8 hours daily.
• Near enough to your home that you'll show up for work regularly.

It is useless to identify an amazing hiding hole if you're spotted every single time you enter and exit. Access to and from is a huge deciding factor here. It does not take a genius to begin questioning; why does that gorilla keep going in and out of there, I've seen him x,y,z times this week, month, year? You could be pinpointed down to one area, and someone may come looking. Raise enough abnormalities and someone will definitely come looking. If you have to use transport to get there, then park with the crowd; use the main car parks and attractions where all the other cars are parked. Even if this is a few miles from your reconnaissance investigations. Don't be lazy. This is only day one. It's vital that you blend in. Avoid being that odd car parked in a gateway raising local suspicions because it's been there a few times now. Wave to the local countryside folk when you do see them. Be friendly and say nothing. We'll devote the whole next chapter on these finer details of Creating Your Story.

For now, we're pre-planning our reconnaissance tour. It's time to decide which places are worthy of the title absolute least inhabitable area. These areas are uninviting for 99% of people. Someone has to have an invested interest in some bushy woodland undergrowths to go crawling through dense spikes and stings, without reward. These areas will be the most painful to investigate, later this will be your greatest asset; inaccessibility to the enemy. Who are the enemy? Anyone and everyone with eyes and ears. Especially anyone and everyone with dogs. 99% of people out in nature are there because they are hunting there, working there, or walking there. There is no other reason to be out there really, no other driving motive. Learn your enemy. They are lazy, just like you. They'll avoid spikes and stings wherever possible, just like you. They'll have predictable routines, just like you. We want to find the absolute most clever hiding hole that no-one in their right mind would ever dare consider passage through. Remember, the enemy have no motive for seeking deep overgrown hidden corners, this our to our advantage. Investing more time early on in your locations ensures the investment fruits successfully later, without harvesting disappointment.

There is nothing more valuable than your garden location, it is quite literally, priceless. I want to share with you one technique I have used here in the Netherlands, where growing plants outdoors is legal, but this is not my land. Remember our goal? It's not easy to find 5 – 10 potential baskets, which is why I give you this challenge. Your location is truly your greatest asset. Sharpen your reconnaissance location skills, while telling no-one. Make mental notes, phone notes saved in ways you'll remember later, Basket 1, Basket 2, Basket 3. Never save locations or drop pins. Trust that your memory is not that bad. You'll be finding this place in the dark without a headlamp later, so get acquainted now. The greatest tool of the reconnaissance phase gorilla is the map. Get yourself a map of where you are. Find your home, and then look all around it for green zones with water! Google maps is easy to start with, anyone can do this from home. There is also great benefit in owning a paper map, because of the finer details listed, and it's a great prop to have with you on the trail to look less like a gorilla and more like a hiker. Never mark an X on any map, anywhere, for anyone. This is the most foolish move of any newbie gorilla warrior, a treasure hunting school boy will be able to find you.

This may take a winter, or a full year of seasons of reconnaissance. The best locations are the least accessible. It should take you miles from any car park. If access is possible riding your mountain bike or walking your dog, expect everyone else to show up doing the same too. When you're seeing deer, not dogs, you're on the right path. Using your map, make day trips to areas that are green, and away from roads and housing, which all appear quite grey on the map. Stay out of the grey, get into the green. This will be your new office. It can be very difficult to judge by the map whether this will be a worthwhile visit or not. It may look like a perfect prime position for the office on the map, but when you're there in person, you realise there is a gradient and shadow that will not be optimum for the daily sunlight requirements. Reconnaissance investigations now enable relaxation later. We'll be able to garden in peace, in a peaceful garden. Living in constant fear of discovery is not enjoyable. We are Nature's Ninjas, and we are Weed Warriors, but we are not willing to compromise on our personal happiness. Our garden must be grown guilt free to be a joy.

Our feeling and our vibe is important. I am instilling this notion as we progress; the Warrior Mindset. Before you even leave home, begin to colour co-ordinate your outdoors wardrobe. You'll be easily spotted wearing red or orange amongst the green undergrowth. Avoid anything bright and light like white or yellow. Spot the monkey.

It is not a good idea to wear full camouflage gear head to toe, in my opinion, as this can raise too many eyebrows. Not yet. You'll see what I mean, as we gather our Kit Checklist. Especially avoid camo in areas sensitive to hunting, dont get hunted. That would be game over. The goal is blend in. The goal is to not raise questions, not talk, and not answer. Gorillas have the right to remain silent.

Wear whatever everyone around you is wearing, but avoid all bright colours. Do not wear shorts, you will slice and sting your legs and be too afraid to investigate anywhere deep into the wild. Prepare to keep your legs covered in thick denim or similar stinging thorn repellents and tough boots or many layers of socks! It's possible to find a plain black or dark green jacket and a greenish or black shirt and pull this off without any questions while your acting like a hiker, with your map. Our dual purpose wardrobe is now you can crawl through bushes and not end up looking too dirty, while remaining camouflaged if anyone is passing by and you have to freeze.

Think outside the box. Take action. Don't simply sit, smoke, read this, and do nothing different. Expect that your garden wont grow itself. Put an old coat on, one where you wont mind when it rips in the bushes, and pay nature a visit. I am serious about taking a picnic. The main reason you go home, is you run out of energy; water and food will keep the tank topped up and you'll be capable of doing more. Eat like a gorilla. I give you these simple steps as I know they're what's next on the agenda for the newbie gorilla. I've been there. It's exhausting. Take your rolling papers, carry your vape, you'll be out there for a while so get comfortable. Test your clothing equipment. This is a devoted once in a lifetime effort. No gorilla by-passes this reconnaissance mission phase. Sunrise or sunset, any time of the day and night are worthy exploration times.

You will learn new things on each journey, learning to wear the right clothing is step one. You may discover the mornings are far too busy with dog walkers, but the sunset is silent and deserted. You may discover weekends are better, or worse in terms of trail traffic. Approach these first reconnaissance missions using your time and energy effectively. Hit highlights on your map one by one, sort the good from the bad. Avoid roaming around “hoping I might see somewhere”. That is exactly the same way that someone might see you, later. Lazy. Visit only 1) spots you already have coming to mind. Or 2) spots you've identified on the map as possible. Is it possible to climb over that fallen tree into the brambles quarry pit? What is along the edge of this lake and up this steep slope where that woodland stream flows? What happens if I crawl through here in the bushes? Are those sheep? Is this cow shit? Is that a Park Warden truck? Is this a horse path? What happens if you cross a river, or walk up the river bank? Who maintains these fences? Everything around you is a clue. Take notes, the best gardens are waiting to be discovered, where there are no paths at all. Recap, here's what to go looking for:

Location, Location, Location.

• Close to water.
• Off the beaten track.
• Out of sight from passing roads.
• Out of sight from surrounding look outs.
• Out of sight access enter / exit points.
• Unobscured Sunlight, for at least 8 hours daily.
• Near enough to your home that you'll show up for work regularly.

Do put all of your eggs in one basket, if you feel you have finally found that impenetrable invisible basket! Go out mapping, looking like a hiker, biker or dog walker in natural colours, with a goal to find 5 – 10 baskets and in the next exclusively published Steemit chapter, we'll choose which one to put all our eggs in.

COMING NEXT FROM @GorillasGarden

Step by Step Guides

• Finding your new Garden
• Creating your Story
• Seedbank
• Nursery
• Transporting Nutrients
• Digging your Patch
• Fencing Protection
• Watering Tips
• Harvesting Ideas
• Gorilla Life Hacks
• Smoke Out, Steem On

Story so far

• Introduction
  Maps from Google Maps and Costume Map