The best things about breaking up with your girlfriend
It is hoped that one does not come across bitter or upset when writing such a piece; it can be certain that such accusations could arise if I happen to make the wrong comments. However, after an initial day and a half of grieving, one can begin to have a more positive outlook and look forward to the rest of their life. It is also hoped that it doesn’t sound too MGTOW, although I must admit that those guys often have some great points.
My now ex-girlfriend and I had an argument after she gave me the cold shoulder when being forced to arrive late. I had mistakenly taken the wrong turn getting to a location to meet up after work and it escalated from there. This slowly brewed into a rather nasty shouting match and rather letting it go on, it is better to not force it and allow it to end. It actually concluded in such a way, that it cannot be totally clear who actually dumped who.
She’s now sleeping on my sofa, not talking to me but I’ll give her time to find a nice new place to live rather than just kicking her out. However, I’m hoping she can get out of here this weekend... Once I get my sofa back, I might get my life back too.
While it is not hoped that I will spend the rest of my life single, there are definitely some benefits to it, at least in the short term; which I will discuss as follows:
1.) Doing things the way that you want.
This doesn’t mean that you have to become a totally lazy slob, but you can start to be a little more relaxed with your approach to life. When you make that bed, it doesn’t have to quite look perfect, just serve the purpose. You can play your music a little loud and as long as it is not pissing off all of the neighbours, enjoy it. Those kinds of clothes or hairstyle that she didn’t like? Not your problem anymore.
Of course, one shouldn’t excessively indulge in these freshly regained freedoms for the sake of it. But you can start to become the real you once again; rather than the person that she had tried to turn you into.
2.) Eating as you should do vs. want to.
If you are wanting to diet like me; it is great. No longer do you have to think about feeding two mouths with a certain required amount of food when cooking; you can save money and eat as you wish. Likewise, if you’re wasn’t the one that was cooking most of the time, you can take on the responsibility and not feel forced to eat more than you’d ideally want or avoid wasting food for fear of causing offence when she cooks too much.
A newly single man might be tempted to fall into the trap of gourging on curries, pizzas and various forms of fast food now that a woman who was dominant in the kitchen has gone. For me, it represents an opportunity to eat lighter in the evening, if I felt that I had a sufficient lunch. I can now enjoy salads a lot more, something that she wasn’t a fan of.
3.) Looking at hotter girls and not feeling guilty.
This can sound really bitter but regardless, I usually don’t date girls for their appearance alone. It is true that many hot looking girls can be a bit crap in bed and have awful personalities. The more average but still cute ones are often better in many regards and maybe in truth, my girlfriend fell into this category.
However, there’s a lot of great looking women in this world. When you’re girlfriend is being nice and loving to you, you won’t care for the other options one bit. Yet when she is being bitchy and rude, a trip to a shopping mall can resemble something like being forced to watch a conveyor belt of higher class ladies pass on by while you are forced to listen to ‘Bullseye’ TV show host Jim Bowen constantly declare “Look at what you could have won!” This will stay on constant repeat for however long you are forced to stay there.
On the flipside, I might be forced to be more careful about what I eat (as previously mentioned) and get in a gym; it is easy to let yourself go when you feel too secure in a relationship. Same could be said for her; if I bump into her out and about, she’ll probably be making more of an effort again and will probably be chatting to fellas that are a bit more handsome than me. Will that make me jealous? Despite it not making logical sense, it probably will but I only really need to care about my own needs going forward.
4. The novelty of being single, living for you.
Earlier on in life, I hated being single; it probably meant that I wasn’t getting laid or feeling loved for some reason. Now, it has a nice novelty feeling and a new found sense of freedom attached to it. The bed might feel a little empty, but it’s all yours. Actually, it isn’t because our cat is also enjoying the extra space too. The cat was very sympathetic when I initially got emotional, she’s looking after me very well.
Of course in the long term, a man does need a woman; but is a big emotional investment and one that is important for one to get right. Being single allows me to once again focus upon self improvement. I can go to the gym after work and not worry that she won’t be happy because you’re not waiting for her back at home. I can rebuild my social life, which had taken a hammering due to dedicating too much time to woman that is very socially awkward and doesn’t drink very well; not to mention being able to spend time drinking with the boys that she didn’t approve of.
5. Breaking free of those Chinese family expectations.
No longer am I to be told that we’re treating someone random to dinner, and I’ll be the one picking up the bill. No longer do I have to consider buying a house in some shithole town that I don’t really want and no longer do I have to worry about being accepted by an extended family from rural backgrounds that I can’t truly relate to in any way.
Being single allows one to indulge in one night stands again, enjoy the fun or at least, spend time getting to know a woman before commiting to a relationship with her. Committing to relationship with any woman in China always means committing to her whole family, who might not always have your best interests at heart. Therefore, it is important to break free when you feel imprisioned in a relationship in any way, as she’s not the only one that will be keeping you hostage.
Concluding remarks:
This piece may have sounded like a rant, but it’s good to get things out of your system, isn’t it? Some relationships just aren’t meant to be and although you feel sad when they end; it is still better that they end. Being single again will be a challenge, I’ve essentially forgotten how it all works. Lacking the presence of a bossy girlfriend might make me a slob, it could also make me a more responsible person. That depends upon my own decisions moving forward, I guess.