Newbie laowai. They don’t need to be saved.

Image source: lifehack.org

Why do I say this?

This may sound like a rather contradictory position to hold as I have been given the task of writing articles specifically intended for expat readers, to help the so called ‘community.’ Yet, I will often unintentionally find myself taking the position of making those who have already lived in China for a few years the true target readers of my pieces, rather than those that are new to the country.

For some, this position can be a difficult one for some to understand. A foreigner that has settled in China may be automatically assumed to possess a perfect command of the language, know their way around and quite possibly not be the slightest bit interested in reading such articles, surely?

Actually, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite our efforts to adapt to local life, we will forever remain to be foreign outsiders; our identities exist outside that of the local culture and will always continue to be so. Nobody tends to actively seek to stay in China forever, therefore our position within Chinese society is that of a rather long term guest, rather than of a person that could be fully assimilated with a little bit of extra work. Also, there’s too many articles for newbies.

A long term resident of China with a good hearted, nice intentions may wish to provide assistance to newly arrived expats. You can always find such wonderful people among the regulars of any long established laowai drinking hole. It may seem honourable to wish to prevent some newcomers from falling into the same traps that you once did when adapting to a new country and culture. However, this may not always be a good idea for the following reasons:

You don’t know everything.

In fact, none of us do. Everybody that arrives in China brings with them a unique set of knowledge, past experiences and emotional baggage that differs greatly from our own. What they bring with them equips them in a completely different way to deal with the challenges that lie ahead of them. What worked well for you, may not be the ideal solution for others.

You may come across as boring and bitter.

We’ve all made mistakes whilst we have been here, some bigger than others. However, for the newly arrived foreigners, everything may seem new and wonderful and the dozes of reality that you provide may be interpreted as complete and utter buzzkill. Not to mention that they will no doubt believe that they will not make the same mistakes as you, until they do. Which leads to...

They’re at a different stage of the cultural adjustment cycle.

Image source: Wetzel Services.

There are several different models of cultural adjustment and it would not be inappropriate to declare one particular model to be better than the others; the image provided only offers one example. However, most recently arrived foreigners find themselves either going through the tourist-like honeymoon phrase or the initial feeling of cultural shock; the speed that they are processed through the cycle differs from person to person and not all people make it all the way through.

Everybody recovers in their own special way and adjustment cannot ever be forced. Not all people can successfully assimilate into the local cultural environment and may find themselves cowering away in those expat ghettoes. That may suit them better, leave them be and enjoy your own life instead.

They’re a bunch of boring twats anyway.

Most of the newly arrived teachers are a different breed of people. They are a bunch of narcisstic twats that will be more interested in finding vegan restaurants, artisan bakeries and taking soyface selfies rather than getting smashed, chatting girls up in their finest broken Mandarin and occasionally working. It’s just a sign of the times; but remember, they’ve usually come over here because Western society is finally getting fed up of their bullshit. They’ll probably soon find that Chinese people don’t like them much either.

It’s their job to prove their worth.

Of course, they’re not all bad. However, they need to prove to everybody else that they are going to be here for the long term, learn a bit of the language and accept the rough with the smooth and not be a self-righteous prick that tries to force their ideology upon the locals. There will come a time when they’ll stop asking everybody where to buy whatever and will learn to actually search for that address in Chinese for the taxi driver rather than bothering everybody else. These sorts of people will settle in nicely, have faith in them.