You are viewing a single comment's thread from:
RE: Why do couples get divorced? A brief study of the causes of divorce.
From my many years experience working with individuals and couples, divorce happens when one spouse chooses to grow, as an individual, and the other is so afraid of the change their partner goes through, so much so that they inflict force and guilt upon them ("don't leave me", "how can you do this to us", I have no life without you "). This of course achieve the opposite result. The partner get verifications for their earlier need for growth and freedom and they are more determined to divorce. It's a very difficult situation. 😐 I occasionally write about it here, on my blog.
interesting that you use the word 'grow'....implies that one partner has lifted themselves to another level and left the other behind, how would they achieve that? Would this be career related or financially based or something else completely?
Spiritually. To be more precise, when one person is more connected with their inner self while the other isn't, they are on different levels, and that influences evening, including the physical chemistry between the two.
thanks for explaining. Does this raise a question of whether someone might be better off by not growing spiritually? Don't change anything and live happily in ignorance? Unless your partner is able to grow with you. Or is this something that we can't choose?
You are wise.
Growing is inevitable. But this is good news my friend. It will make you fulfilled and happy in the long run.
yes, when I became a Christian, my spouse acted like I was telling him I hated him. it was sort of weird to me. Wouldn't it make sense that I would more than likely treat him much better than before? to him, no....he wanted me to drop the belief, which of course I could not do. Sad to say, after 30 some years, he is still holding his ground in that point.
Right, your change took him out of his comfort zone and in a way threatened his existence! Yes, that's the way he saw it then.
The divorce rate are so high nowadays because some people change fast while their spouses choose not to. IMO, better to marry late when the people are more whole, more ready.
Interesting dynamics, thanks for that! Following YOU! I am going through one too, and requesting SBD donations to cover my legal costs, would you be so kind as to donate some SBD to me? https://steemit.com/teamsouthafrica/@pjcswart/please-help-me-not-get-screwed-lol-in-my-divorce