Everyday fallacies or self-deception

Many times we live a good part of our lives being prisoners of everyday fallacies. What do I mean? To self-deception, to those totally erroneous beliefs that determine our behavior but that have no basis other than our ignorance and our inadequate perception of the world. In terms of logic a fallacy would be a logically incorrect reasoning but psychologically speaking, very persuasive.

Everyday fallacies are those thoughts that dictate how to act and how to value, truths in which we believe at face value but that are based on a partialized way of understanding reality and our role in it.

Thus, there is a good number of thoughts with which we deceive ourselves, some of the most common are:

The fallacy of control: in our daily life, badly that weighs us, we exercise very little control over the environment. However, the craving for control sometimes becomes truly excessive: we want to control the lives of our children, our partners, our friends ... then we self-deceive ourselves believing that our power of control extends beyond their true borders . The most damaging is the fact that trying to control, when we do not really have this possibility, generates a huge anxiety.

The fallacy of justice: we tend to value as unfair everything that does not match our personal needs or desires. We are located in the center of the universe and from there we decide what is fair or unfair, what is appropriate and what is not. Perhaps it would be easier to think in terms of: "This law is not fair for me but it is fair for other people", a little empathy does not hurt anyone.

The fallacy of change: "our happiness or well-being depends on the change of others". Unfortunately it is one of the most widespread fallacies in Western society, everything must change except ourselves, so we draw up a list of guilty of our unhappiness or dissatisfaction, things that must undoubtedly change: the government, our boss, the traffic, our partner, the school teacher ... the list is endless. Although in most cases it is much easier to vary our perception of the facts, try to understand the situations from an off-centered perspective; put yourself in the place of the other and try to approach their motivations.

The fallacy of reason: "only we are the holders of absolute truth." Probably it is one of the most foolish fallacies of which we can be object, first because there is no absolute truth and second because we can not be certain that we are its depositaries. Therefore, becoming the owner of the truth only makes us closed to dialogue and obstructs the paths for personal growth. Understand that the truths that we live in today are relative and that they depend to a great extent on the glass with which they are looked at, although they give us a certain degree of uncertainty, they will also make us more open and flexible people.

The deceit of the divine reward: supposes the tendency to hope that the problems are solved by themselves in the future as a result of the divine intervention, luck or destiny. Suffice it to say that this fallacy is the end of the annulment of individual will and responsibility.

One of the main problems that involve the fallacies is its great dynamic power of behavior together with its surreptitious character. That is, they are always mediating our relationship with ourselves and with others, determine our attitudes and therefore mediate the success we achieve in certain activities but usually the person does not question their existence. Fallacies have almost always been there, in the depths of consciousness, for which, it seems "normal" to judge what is appropriate and what is not from our point of reference, it seems "normal" to us to possess the absolute truth and it seems "normal" to try to exercise a certain degree of control over people and the environment.

From this hidden position the fallacies are becoming stronger and stronger or, on the contrary, when we question them, by not having the psychological tools necessary to face them, they lead us to real difficulties without presenting us with a way out.

Thus, it is time for each one to identify those small daily deceptions and get rid of the preconceived ideas that sustain them. Probably life will not turn 180 degrees but without a doubt we will feel much better with ourselves