How Do You Get Over Your Fear of Failure?! Help me!
I need someone to motivate me today. I figure Steemit is the most motivational place on the internet, so I am asking for your help.
A year ago my sister approached me with an idea to create a course on the website Udemy. I have owned my own small business for the last 12 years selling clothing on eBay (and other sites.) The idea was to make a course where anyone could learn how go to a thrift store and find high end clothing to resell online.
Having never actually taught anything before of course I was apprehensive. I resisted the idea, telling her that I didn't know if I wanted to do it. After months of bothering me about it and telling me that I had a skill that had value and I should capitalize on it, I reluctantly agreed.
I have been doing my job for the last 12 years, it comes so natural to me that I have never really sat down and thought of my "process." I can walk into a thrift store and look through tens of thousands of pieces of clothing and walk out with a cart full that will make me money. I know which brands of women's clothing sell, and which don't. I know some brands so in-depth that I admin huge Facebook groups dedicated to them. I can even spot a rare item from across the store.
But sitting down and actually writing about my "talent" was hard. I didn't know where to begin since I learned all of these things organically over the last decade or more. But I worked on it for months, and then finally it was time to start filming the videos for the course.
That was terrifying and awful. I wrote out a script for each video and tried my best, but it took at least 20 attempts for me to get through the first clip without messing up. I had a prompt to read and I still couldn't get it right. It took weeks of filming the videos for me to think they were even somewhat acceptable. I say acceptable because I still think I look insane. I could never be an actress, that's for sure.
Here is an actual screenshot of a video: Edited to add my thoughts as I was filming it!
My sister and I have been working on the class for 6 months, and now she is finally doing the last steps to get it up on the website....
....and then came Steemit.
Ah, Steemit. My newest obsession. I have been on Steemit for a little over a month now. I have spent at least 40 hours a week on this site since I started. Reading, learning, commenting and connecting with some really nice people so far. It has become the first thing I check when I get up, and the last thing I check before I put my phone on my nightstand at night. The class? It has fallen by the wayside..
But my sister, who is still working on the class has not let me forget about it for the last couple weeks, reminding me of some last minute things we need to do before launch. And now I feel reluctant to finish the class at all....but why?
I am terrified of failure.
In my mind, if I never finish something, I haven't exactly failed at it. Motivating right? I should put that on a poster. I'm sure you'd never hire me to be your life coach, lol. In all seriousness though.. what is wrong with me? We are nearing the finish line of this project, but I need help taking the final leap and getting it out there.
So...Steemians, give me your best advice. Tell me about overcoming your fear of failure. Or maybe tell me how I shouldn't take risks at all.. I would love to hear your comments below!
If you enjoyed my rant please leave me comment below. If you find my content worthy, I would love to have the honor of your upvote and or follow. I am looking forward to connecting with you! Steem on!
I really like this post. There are multiple things going on here, so I try to unpack each individually. Hopefully this helps you. If not, call the police. (Just kidding, please don’t the police.)
Anyways: I think the first thing to notice is that you’re aware of this fear of failure and you’re ready to do something about it. That’s a huge step and many people don’t even take that. So good job!
Second, there’s always a resistance when you start something new. You’ve never done a course before? You can bet it can feel strange and uncomfortable. Especially when putting together a course typically requires multiple skills: speaking, teaching, editing, design, camera presence, leadership, etc. These skills rarely come to people naturally but they need to be acquired through practice and that practice can feel painful. But step by step that training starts to pay off. Don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t try to learn everything at once. Break it down into compartments and little steps. Not everything at once. There’s nothing wrong with you. What you’re going through is normal, and happens to almost everybody.
When I was in the military, I had an assignment to teach others how to assemble, handle, and clean a gun in a safe way. The problem was that I had never seen that gun, I’m not a “gun person”, and I only had 24 hours to learn how it use myself. Next day would be showtime. I would teach everything about the gun to multiple groups throughout the day. Yikes. Not surprisingly when the next day came, my impression still was that I knew almost nothing about the gun but I thought I had to go out and teach them about it anyway. After all, this was the military and I had really no other choice. To my surprise, it went really well. What I thought was “almost nothing” was more than enough for my fellow soldiers. And the officers were pretty happy as well in my gun training.
So I think it’s important to recognize that what may seem obvious or stupid to you, might be really interesting and new to others. Others likely don’t see you the way you do.
Another thing you can do is to write down the worst things that can happen. I’m serious. Take a piece of paper and write down, in detail, what are the actual things you think will happen if all goes to hell. After that you can think how you could reverse the worst outcomes or what you could do to return back to square one. Usually, the worst things that can happen are not that big, and the outcomes are typically easily reversible.
Finally, you can think what’s the cost of inaction. What’s the cost of this fear you have? You might focus on the possibility that if all goes to hell, you have a price to pay. But have you considered what’s the price to pay if you do nothing? Today, sweeping snow off your car in the morning feels like an annoying chore, but in 4 days when there’s extra 2 feet of snow, it will turn from a simple chore into a nasty project. Inaction has a cost too.
The reason why your post resonates with me is that I battle with this all the time, too. I’m working on producing a cartoon series here on Steemit. I want to do something unique, something that truly stands out. Something that has never been done here before. And I can worry about the minute details, like post title structure until the cows go home. But eventually, I need to put it out there. In my mind, I’m thinking I need to have the project perfect (or good enough) before I put it out there. But it doesn’t work like that. It works the opposite way. By putting stuff out there regularly is the only way to get better at it. It’s fairly hard to learn how to swim, to have sex, or to fall in love – just by reading about it. We might get our hearts broken, that’s part of the process. Be eventually, we learn how to stay afloat. Hope this helps! And please don’t call the cops.
LOL Thank you for your extremely thoughtful comment! I will definitely be checking out your cartoon series! You know whats funny? if you scroll back down my posts youll see a picture of my car buried under snow...because I kept putting it off. Of course you are right about your comments, and I have taken them to heart. The worst thing that can happen is that no one buys my course (and my friends and family would know that I failed at it) Doesnt seem to horrible now that Ive thought about it.
I totally understand where you're coming from - or at least, I can see what I would be thinking in your shoes...putting yourself on a video puts you in a very vulnerable position and you're not used to it. But it seems like your sister is right - you have a lot of experience with a special set of skills that could really help others. You're almost there! Put it out there! Of course it's scary, but think of the time and effort you've already put in! I detest the sound of my own voice. I think everyone hates their own voice, but no one has ever told me they hate my voice, so it must not be that intolerable. I'm sure you don't look insane. Can you take it down if things go horribly wrong? Maybe think of what the out could be if you decide it was a bad idea and that will allow you to put it out there. You can't fail if you don't try, but you can't succeed either. Courage! And I for one am really impressed you did a course...
Thanks for encouragement! You are right, I did all the work already.. I think im just going to be embarrassed if no one buys it, so if I never release the class... then I haven't exactly failed at it. I guess I am going to go for it, its making me anxious thinking about it! lol
You don't have to come and confess if no one buys it - which I doubt will be the case! And by the way, I might need you to copy and paste my own advice back to me someday :-) I've been taking little mini-risks and doing tiny little new things, but maybe I'll do or want to do something BIG one of these days!
I guess you are right about that... I dont have to tell anyone I failed at it, haha, I can fail in private.. :D
Success is addicting. I recommend you get a sip. You won't want to stop feeling it.
You have no idea how success really is a vice. It makes you feel eager to take the next step. And the one after that. Knowing you're progressing as a person and in your life goals is so amazing it's unreal.
You should crave undestanding what I mean. You really should.
Also I picked your post to resteem! Hope you get more answers. See ya.
Thanks for your encouragement! I appreciate it !:)
Good Post, don't fear failure, just do it, fail, fail fail, then do it again until you succeed!
Just thought of you when I saw this contest post:
https://steemit.com/contest/@aoart/win-sbd-introducing-a-new-weekly-contest-for-steemit-members-how-to-weekly
haha, I actually entered this on Thursday :) Thanks so much for thinking of me!
Why do have fear? What is the worst thing that could happen if you fail? You should ask yourself these questions.
The answer on the second question probably will surprise you!
Stepping out of your confort zone is one of the hardest things to do! But is a corner stone for success!
Maybe combine the class with d.tube. This way it stays pretty close to your passion (Steemit).
Don’t be afraid of faillure. Faillure should make you stronger, will teach you something about yourself and in the end makes you more succesfull!
I guess the worst thing that would happen would be to not sell any and having everyone I know (they know ive been working on this a while) find out that I am a failure.....lol.
Thanks for the encouragement :) I appreciate it!
So go for it!
Whats best? Never tried or tried and failed. In the last case you at least gave it a try, while the first option will haunt you forever with: what if!
You are right of course. That is the attitude that made me join Steemit, not sure why I can't apply that to everything else!
Sounds like you just need to finish your first class and then start working on a masterclass for Steemit! Remember even if you fail you still will learn a ton from experiences. Not trying is the only true failure
Always appreciate your insight @rumble :)
I know you are right, I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm like the spokesperson for the anti motivational movement. I should make posters or something :/
I question whether it is only fear making you drag your feet. Only you know, but in similar circumstances I sometimes have been reluctant to teach certain things because I earned my knowledge the hard way. It felt wrong to just give someone the keys without them earning it.
You worked damn hard for what you know, and honestly I don't even know in many cases how that kind of specialized knowledge could be transmitted to someone with little to no experience.
I would also say if you can sell on Ebay (been there, so done with the scammers and entitlement by buyers) in arguably one of the hardest niches where sizes aren't uniform, buyers like to rent the item and return, sometimes you get it back with fresh stains etc, it doesn't feel like you are easily swayed by thoughts of failure. This feels more a matter of your heart saying this isn't right.
I am extremely fearful, lol. I do believe the class holds the key to learning how I do what I do, but the thought so many months and hundreds of hours of work and for us to not sell any of them makes me extremely anxious. We will also have to market it on my personal facebook page which I absolutely do not want to do. Some people freely promote their businesses to their friends/family/ acquaintances but I have always been very secretive for some reason. As for selling on ebay, yeah..there are some scammers, lol. Ive sold over 20,000 pieces of clothing on ebay, and have had to maybe deal with .5% of them being scammers or returns...so its not too awful :)
lol, ok. You do not understand how brave you are dealing in clothing and I will stop planting that seed (right after my next sentence). But you do have a level of strength to deal there that many do not, you just don't see it because it feels normal and right to you.
In the next week I am going to be blogging about my knowledge in self publishing as part of my ongoing self employment series. As it develops I will be discussing the ways marketing is used, and many of the ideas would overlap with online courses. I can't say how long it will take me to get to the marketing, maybe a week or so in (I am lucky to post 4 things in a week). I need to discuss how I got in, the dynamics of of it all, structures etc before jumping to marketing the finished product. I am going to guess it will be in the latter half of March.
LOL thats the first time anyone has called me brave! Can't wait for your posts! Ill definitely be tuning in!
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