MY CONSOLATION PRICE

My hand and her hand (my employers youngest daughter) who loves me like a mother.I draw a heart in her board and she made an answer through her drawing too last valentines day

My life is like the lyrics of my favorite song that I sang Lift Up Your Hands.It doesn't meant to say that I surrender to all what life has been done or what will be.But I lift up my hands to the Lord so He could easily hold me the time I was lost in the darkest side.

Looking back for a while to my last blog,because of the biggest circumstances that had passed to our family,I decided to go abroad leaving my 7yrs old son to my husband but unfortunately he died without sickness after a christmas party He was just complaining of severe headache at 5 in the afternoon and died at 1 am in the morning.Medical staff said it was a cardiac arrest.He was dead on arrival but my son told me which was 14yrs old on that time,his father died leaning in his arm while they were on their way to the hospital.I was shocked on that time..On that the same night 5pm in Saudi time while I was cleaning the stairway suddenly a brown butterfly came on my way.Even how I tried to let it go but he stayed infront of me until I finished cleaning it.I wonder wherre it came from?The house was so closed..I was really afraid on that moment.

 MY CONSOLATION PRICE

On the other hand,when.I was on my first trip coming here,I asked the Lord to show me a sign finding a good employer.I told myself when I touched down Saudi Arabia, when I arrived to the house of my employer,if someone offer me a food,it should be a good sign,.Then luckily it was really happened.I found a good samaritan employer.

I was doing my very best and my salary before was only 200USD.It was not enough but I felt contended because of our relation and well treatment from them all.My employer and me has just a small age gap.She is older than me 4yrs ahead.
During the time my madam.decided to stop having a baby,it took seven years after she got pregnant to their youngest daughter.This youngest daughter of my madam gave me more sunshine to my life.Even to their family because it was seven years long without a baby..
But that happiness was covered with full of sadness when my madam was diagnosed breast cancer while her youngest was so young.The baby was only one year old.
Since my madam was a teacher,I was the one who taking care of the baby.Not like the other children they didn"t trusted anybody,but because I was already staying with them for a long time,I was the one taking care from te first day she was born until now that she is already eleven years old.

The name of the baby is Moroj,we are so very close to each other.The time my madam knew that she had a cancer she was very worried for her family thinking she will be dying at early age.ONE DAY THERE WAS RAIN IN JEDDAH AFTER FEW DAYS OF HER SURGERY.SHE WAS NOT AFRAID OF TAKING A BATH IN THE RAIN AS THE THUNDER STORM WAS ROARING WITH THE FLASHED OF THE LIGHTNING.SHE CALLED ME BEGGING ME AND MADE ME PROMISED UNDER THE RAIN.I WAS SO AFRAID ON THAT MOMENT.
On the first place she was just two weeks old after her operation I let her stop but she didn't listen to me.SHE WAS CRYING ASKING ME NOT TO GO UNTIL HER YOUNGEST CHILD WILL BECOME A BIG LADY OR I WILL STAY WITH THEM FOR A LIFETIME.GLORY BE TO GOD MY MADAM SURVIVE IT.
Then I had no.power to refused it.I realized so many things that had happened to me and they were all in my side.They were the shoulder that I leaned on.I keep my promise until today.
Because of her cancer,she was always flying to Riyadh City (two hours by plane) with her husband so they entrusted their whole family to me.
Then after a few years again my madam was having a surgery in her thyroid gland.Last year, she was having a surgery on her two knees.
My madam is a very good and a nice God fearing woman and yet she encountered some health issue.
I realized myself how could if theres no one to be trusted for her children when they were away from home?How about me my life when they were not good employer to me?
Then I have an answer that these are our destiny,my life conmected to their lives..God has a wonderful planned that we never knew before.
And the best consolation that I ever had when I win the heart of their youngest daughter who treated me as her mother.She told me everyday that she loves me and she could not live without me.She said she has two mother on earth the one who gave her life and the one who is takiing care of all her flaws.Until now she is sleeping beside me.She could sleep a deep sleep when I am on her bed.When she was a toodler.she slept in my bed.She never mind she smell me like onions on my body but her hugs and kisses give me more strength to empowered homesickness my longing for my son and now my grandaughter.I had no daughter but God give me one,I consider Moroj as my daughter.

She recorded me when we were playing

It is really unfair to my real family but I am.also earning my penny to support and help them.And at the same time I am helping these family too,not just because I am their maid but a person to be trusted and relied when they are away from home because until now they are going to and fro the city to have medical assessment of my madam.I stayed together eith my son for only 7yrs.then when I spent vacation i just stay for only one month because of financial issue.I love my son more than anything else..

And now i am growing older,I am thinking about what will be the next steps to follow.Half of my life span were in my own homeland with my family and the other half is here presently.My thought are hanging like I am sailing with two boats in the ocean.I dont know what tomorrow will brings to me.
I love my own family and yet I am also loving my extended family.
When I prefer myself to be home,honestly speaking I have no saving for myself.It is hard to decide but I know God will give me perfect time that no one will be hurted in both sides.
At this very moment I am in a deep sorrow since my son was not already here.We stayed together for almost a year but now he was gone for his own family.
When I told my Moroj , how I feel lonely as my son is already in the Philippines,she told me not to worry because she will be taking care of me.

I am extending my true love to my employers family hoping a big returned from God bestowed to my family in my homeland.There's no wonder because even I am away from all of them but their love an respect to me still remain being a daughter of my parent,a sister to my siblings a mother to my son but I dont know if I deserve the love of my grandaughter since I never meet them both.
How I wish I could fly if I had a wings..
How I wish to bring them all together both my extended family and my real family.?
I know it is far beyond my expectation but I believe in miracle with my Saviour.
Maybe when I die there wll be no more worries on both sides.
So now that I am still living I will stop thinking for tomorrow and live my life as if my life span.is only for today by the grace of our Lord God.

I had no daughter but He gives me Moroj.I am away from.my family but they treated me like my own.That why I consider them as a great consolation from all of my sacrifices.
Thank you for reading.

I voted @steemgigs as witness
@surpassinggoogle as proxy in behalf of me

Thank you my mentors;