All in the name of safetyness!

I am in the process of moving. Part of that process involves paring down the number of useless items in my family's inventory. Drawers, closets, and boxes are being emptied, sorted through, and categorized. There are things we will keep, things we will try to sell or donate, and then there are things that will inevitably end up in some garbage dump. The latter should be the easiest to deal with, or so I thought...

After sorting through enough junk and old, broken furniture, the time had come to have some of these things removed from the property. Since I currently live in a place that has a garbage pickup service monopolized by the local government, and one that I am forced to pay for (lest "my house" be forcibly removed from me for failure to pay rent, er, "property tax"), I placed a call to the Town Sanitation Department. Seems simple enough, right? I mean, that is what I am forced to pay these people for. Silly me for thinking that a service I pay for under the ultimate threat of death (try "resisting" the actions of "law enforcement", whether you have actually harmed another or not) would actually be provided without further complications.

So I placed the call and waited for someone to answer. When someone did, I should have known that I was in for some government shenanigans. The woman who answered, we'll call her "Mopey Mary", was clearly not thrilled to be there that morning despite just sitting at a desk, answering phone calls, and collecting a fat paycheck off the backs of the local tax cattle. She actually sounded annoyed that she was being "forced" to do her job. After years of dealing with government bureaucracy, and having encountered a litany of "Mopey Marys", I knew that this conversation was going to go one of two ways. Either I would walk away from the encounter feeling like I did not receive my tax money's worth, or I would become so annoyed by "Mary's" incompetence that I would have to be placed up the "chain of command" multiple times, only to still walk away from the encounter feeling like I did not receive my tax money's worth. So is life with government.

On this occasion, I got to choose door number 1. Lucky me! At least I would save some time by not having to wait on hold for the next supervisor who would prove to be just as inept as the last. Dealing with "Mary" was no pleasure cruise, though. She put me on hold, for reasons that I am still unaware of, after almost every item I listed for the pickup I was attempting to schedule. She also needed it to be explained to her, more than once, that a box fan is not, in fact, made out of cardboard and would not need to be recycled. Since cardboard wasn't her department, she was clearly trying to lessen her own workload (which at this point consisted of her having to write down/type the words "box fan" on a list). Those local tax dollars hard at work!

After slogging through the list of items that I wished to have picked up (and, again, by a service I am forced to pay for), which was prolonged by "Mary's" penchant for repeating instructions about items I had never even mentioned, we finally reached the last item on my list: a full sized bed. Considering that this consisted of only a mattress, a feline shredded box spring, and a simple, folding metal frame, it seemed like a simple enough request. I had, after all, seen many a neighbor leave such items out for pickup over the years that I have lived here. Apparently, though, there isn't an opportunity to waste money, whether yours or theirs (but, then, I repeat myself), that government will not try to take.

I was informed by "Mary" that in order for the bed to be picked up, I would need to purchase special "bed bug bags" to place the mattress and box spring in due to some state law. This was, of course, presented as a safety measure, and a "common sense" one at that, as to make anyone questioning it seem like a reckless individual who would have a clear disregard for others. Despite "Mary's" insistence that it "was the law, after all", as if this means no further questions are necessary, I pressed her on this one. Not because I am opposed to being safe, but because I am aware of the conditions and work ethic of the local (see: forced monopoly) sanitation scene. The following is an excerpt of our conversation.

Mary: So you'll have to get bed bags to place the bed in, otherwise we won't pick it up.

Me: So I have to go purchase bags, just so they can be discarded, in order for you to come here and provide a service that I'm already forced to pay for?

Mary: Well, sir, it's the NYS law. You could always bring it down to the dump yourself, and then you wouldn't need any bags because you'd be handling the bed yourself.

Me: Have you ever been to the town dump? They handle stuff themselves because there's always a backup. So I would be protecting who, exactly, by schlepping the bed down there myself, without any of these "special bags?"

Mary: Long, confused pause Well, uh, sir, it is the NYS law.

Me: You didn't understand a word i just said, did you?

Mary: Well, sir, I did give you the option of bringing the bed down there yourself. Should I cancel your pickup?

Me: Trying to contain the urge to scream No, just give me the dates. I can't handle this much dumb on a Monday morning.

Now, again, I have no issue with being safe, or trying to ensure the safety of others. What I was able to walk "Mary" into almost admitting, though, is that these measures have little to nothing to do with actual safety. It's just another case of government inefficiency and "safetyness" rhetoric. Given the history of government laws and regulations, even at the local level, there's a good chance that some lobbying was done, perhaps by the manufacturers of these "special bags", in order to have it mandated that people MUST purchase said bags. It's just another way that government finds to rob you of your wealth. By lining the pockets of their connected friends, politicians and bureaucrats ensure that their own pockets will, in return, be lined by the aforementioned friends, all while selling the citizenry a bill of goods.

And yet a number of people still seem to wonder why I am so pro-freedom, and so anti-government....