# MAINTAINING PROPER EYE CONTACT IS A SECRET TO WIN OVER EVERY NEGOTIATION
EYE CONTACT
In these good days and in our current jet age of today, the etiquette of respecting someone older is not to simply look at the person in the eye while being spoken to. It is considered rude to look up and right at that elderly person. I know many people can resonate with the etiquette of older days.
Looking at the young millennial today, we see the reverse is now the case when being spoken to by your boss. You will be considered rude when looking downwards or away from your boss as he/ she is addressing you. It is expected that you look up and right at your boss with direct eye contact.
It is amazing how I regularly see during networking events, how many adults still struggle with proper eye contact. They seem to feel more comfortable looking up, down or sideways either when they are asked a question as well as when they are responding. Could it be that they are experiencing bouts of anxiety, elements of fear and considerable uncertainty? It takes a good amount of confidence to stand tall walking the walking the walk and talking the talk.
One thing I do tell participants and many of my students during training and teaching is that “direct eye contact doesn’t mean consistent starring right into the eyes of another person for a long time, because it would imply something is wrong”. Your eye contact indeed tells a lot about your personality. It is highly influenced by culture, directly to the people you are in their midst as well as the environment.
Let me share a few eye contact tips or facts and strategies that can assist you to display or show positive non-verbal body language whenever you step out.
EYE CONTACT ETIQUETTE SIGNIFICANCE
In the business world of today, your eye contact are very important just like the way you wished to appear at the best of your dress and an elegant posture when you are to appear in an interview. It speaks of the kind of a leader you are. In addressing your team, your colleagues, your VIP-client, your customers, acquaintances and more, it is your eye contact that will command the room. Your eye contact springs up and influences the respect you desire as a professional. It indicates that while you are looking at others in the address room, that they are important while you maintain the balance of being in control of the situation. As a leader your direct eye contact is expected to gain a hundred percent control of every situation.
FIRST IMPRESSION
It has been said that 55% of the impact you have on someone you meet for the first time is seen in your appearance. The catch word here is seen. You cannot take the eyes out of the values of a leader. First impression speaks to not just your clothing but more importantly to the way you behave, conduct yourself and ultimately the way and manner you communicate. You are being consciously and unconsciously judged daily with the little things that are detail but make the bigger difference. To buttress your positive first impression is to introduce yourself audibly with proper direct eye contact coupled with a generous smile and a firmly hand shake.
THE GAZE
Again it is not a case of how long you can stare at someone that indicates you have good use of eye contact. You may at this point be deemed rude if you hold your gaze for longer than necessary. You begin to position yourself for a negative first impression as you will automatically expressionless and cold. The proper ideal gaze at any time is rated between 3-seconds to 5-seconds long. You are to look away intermittently in the course of a conversation. This indicates openness and trustworthiness. If your gaze is very short, it indicates that you are uncomfortable and probably may have something in hiding. You need to shift your gaze from the floor to the person you are speaking to.
SELF-ESTEEM
Your lack of ability to look someone in the eyes as you talk to them or better still as they are talking to you may come from an unconscious bias, habitual prejudicism or the sheer lack of confidence and self-esteem. It is deemed an image saboteur if as a professional you are playing victim to these circumstances. The shyness can rob you of your inner talent and competence when you are seen for the first time. If you find yourself giving a presentation, demonstration, defending a project, conducting a meeting, seminar or briefly addressing an audience, you need to braze up with a few breathing exercises. You can first practice it in front of a mirror, and then push yourself to excellence. The signs of lack of confidence are first seen in your inability to hold your audience with good eye contact. Do not look at one thing or object, rather learn to look or roam your eyes at others looking at you. It will take a bit of practice but do not relent until you are more comfortable with yourself. Boost your self-esteem and confidence by identifying your core values in life and run with them.
PROFESSIONAL PRESENCE
As you step out of the house, walk to look like that professional that you are. Maintain a nice posture with a nice hair style and keep your head straight. Your image and brand depends very much on your aura and how come across to others. You can make or break a business deal by the wright or wrong presence you give you display. It is important to identify that only a business eye contact is acceptable in the business arena for business relationship. Therefore, ensure your eye contact does not pass the wrong message or send the wrong signal.
DIRECTION
Finally, the use of the eyes says a lot in body language and can easily indicate or say much more than the direct words.
Where do you look when you are in a conversation?
Do you know the meaning of the direction of your gaze?
Some professionals can tell in response to certain questions if you are lying or telling the truth. You may be trying to access a past memory or a current idea. Be mindful of rolling, blinking and wide eyes positions. These signs are negative signs of body language. Your eyes are your prized treasures take care of them and make the most efficient use of them.
Edited by:
Samson A.A.
Scholarstica K.
Goodluck.