What is True Happiness for Me?

These are some of my reflections on Fri 6/17/16 during my meditation time in response to my reading "Life is Meditation", a book in my Kindle by Bhante Vimalaramsi. Reading chapter called 'The Eightfold Path.'

All of what I presently count as "My Life" can fall away but until I die, no matter what my condition, I will always have my in-breath and out-breath and be able to smile with the feelings of peace, tranquility, and equanimity.

I now envision this body and mind sitting in breathing meditation as I sit on a large beautiful multi-shaded red sofa in a large luxurious mansion and then I see this body and mind sitting in breathing meditation as I sit on my sleeping bag in my tent, and last I see this body and mind sitting in breathing meditation as where this body and mind is truly sitting in breathing meditation right now.

Along with awareness of only this in-breath and out-breath, I relax and release this mind and body. I enjoy the peace, tranquility, and equanimity in this moment...while smiling.

A thought occurred to me, 'believing in positive affirmations as a way of obtaining what we really want is just another form of thinking, or trying to change our thinking, so we can get what we think we want. What we think will finally make us happy!

I can now see, even if I received what I think I want, whether it is more money or a career I think will be more enjoyable or to my liking; eventually when I get to that spot or to that place, will I find something about it not satisfactory to me? Yes, because even the most ideal circumstances still have things about them that are not perfect and will have defects. That's the reality of life. We do not live in a perfect world where everything works without a hitch.

Nothing in this life can truly satisfy the deep thirst for peace, tranquility, and equanimity my mind desires to have in this present moment.

I spend the most time with "Myself." So I need to show more Love towards myself, my self talk needs to be more forgiving and more loving when I think about how I am living my life.

I also need to practice this same kind of thinking and speaking out loud about myself when I talk about myself to others and about others when I spend time with them.

Instead of saying "let it go", I need to say "Let it be", which is really the same thing except in a slightly different way. "Let it go" doesn't mean to push it away or to make it stop. It could mean however to let it fall away on its own. It really means to stop being worried or anxious about it. The thought or feeling may still stay around but we are not adding a second layer of feeling by adding any kind of negative judgment or anger to it. So we allow it to just be there. We can "Let it be."

Another way to "Let go" is to say to myself, "I can accept it if this fear actually comes to pass because right now I'm too tired to continue to worry or think about it." It's only a thought. I have this moment to deal with and so this moment is either ok or not ok. If it's ok, then I will think only of this moment and be happy and grateful it is ok. If it is not ok then I will ask myself "why isn't it ok?" and see if I can find if the reason why it's not ok has something to do with the way I am thinking about it and not really anything about the truth of the circumstance itself. Perhaps the answer to it becoming ok is there is something more I need to let go!

So what is True Happiness for Me? This in-breath and out-breath, I relax and release this mind and body. I enjoy the peace, tranquility, and equanimity in this moment...while smiling.