Hmm. Good question. It’s not easy, but with enough detachment I think one can treat oneself as an object. I practice this sometimes in complete submission and surrender. Detached from all outcomes, even the fear of death, maybe for a few moments. But it’s hard. We are wired for survival and our stories of individuation are deeply wired to support that biological drive.

And yes, the giver in such a setting is ultimately the one in control because they can safe word out at any time. Although I guess that’s true for both parties.