You Own Your Experiences

It should be obvious, yet many of us out here struggle with owning ours.

Being able to write about this marks a step in my recovery, for lack of a better word. I still hold a fair amount of guilt when I talk about my experiences, but I am learning that I do not owe anything to those who wronged me. These are my experiences, my stories, and if they didn't want to be a villain, they shouldn't have acted like one.

That's not to say I'm never the villain in someone else's story. In fact, I still cringe thinking back to my scripts. But I do not expect them to paint me as a hero, or at least not in those scenes. They don't owe me a rewrite. They don't owe me their silence. All I ask is that they stick to the truth and try to be fair, and I will do the same.

But enough of that analogy.

Let's move on to a list of rules to ensure you speak about your experiences justly.

#1. Will it ruin their reputation, and if so, do you want to be responsible for that? Think about the outcome of your words before you speak them and ensure that the punishment fits the crime.

#2. Is this the appropriate audience? For example, you can complain about your spouse to a friend or therapist, but don't drag your kids into it.

#3. Why do you want to tell this story? While this step isn't necessary, taking a moment to understand your intentions can't hurt. Emotions, if left uncheck, can lead to decisions you regret.

Of course, these are only an unqualified blogger's guidelines, and you should make rules that work best for you and help you sleep at night.

But don't forget, you own your experiences.

You get to decide what to do with them.