Who Am I? - surpassinggoogle's contest for the UNTALENTED

I'm ignorant, and I mean that in the best possible way.

"The road to heaven is paved through hell."
― Alfred Edmond Jr.

Hello, my name is @shello. I post in many different categories, and there are lots of things I do know, but far more that I don't. I was having a conversation with one of my friends last night, about what it means to be ignorant- because unlike what many people believe, being ignorant doesn't make someone stupid. Everything that I learn I apply to some area in my life, as long as I know enough, and want to figure out how. If I know something, I'm going to use it, being stupid is knowing the right thing, but not doing it- for a reason or excuse. It's like a foolish choice, and I've made plenty of those in the short 27 years of my existence.

_{My ex left me his laptop when he went on a trip once, there was one locked folder but he used Ubuntu. I spent the duration of his trip figuring out how to unlock it. In the folder, a single photo I've never seen. My good friend Lauralynn on the left, and I'm on the right.}

I've been abandoned in a city, in a state I didn't know, I've stayed in toxic relationships only to be cheated on later, I've had my kindness abused and even used against me, but I'm still here, and have gained so much knowledge for having faith even when I should be completely jaded and cynical by now.

_{I went to a dating panel at a convention for relationship advice, and I was sure that no one would see me.}

People don't get that. I sometimes think of horrible stuff, and everyone will encounter negative and otherwise horrible thoughts in their lifetimes. You shouldn't condemn yourself when these are passing thoughts that hold no basis in reality, unless you act upon them. The bad things that happened to me from my ignorance in the past, made me see that although people are generally good, it's tempting to cheat others (even a little bit, and convince yourself that it's even harmless) for personal gain, whether it be material, or to make themselves feel superior or better. It's only human nature to want what's best for yourself, but at whose expense?

_{Working on the wiring for the dance panel while building a Stepmania cabinet.}

When I was 16, my boyfriend at the time told me a story about a princess. Every night, while she was asleep, she would dream that she was a princess and everything was wonderful and bright. -But you see, every morning when she awoke, she was only a beggar and her life was miserable in every way... but that was okay, because every night while she slept, she was a princess again. One day, she killed herself, and got to be a princess, and be happy forever.

I was going through a difficult time in my life, and my boyfriend was suggesting me to end it.

_{Me and my roommate Shyann. I can apparently take selfies in my sleep.}

For a long time I was ignorant to the fact that selfless goals could exist for the greater good and benefit of others, and until a few years ago- I was more selfish than most, but no one deserves emotional abuse.

_{Who's at Dave N Busters right now?}

I'm the Hope I want to See

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

Now wouldn't it be nice to be extremely passionate and have a friend that really cares about you, and doesn't fail to show it?Wouldn't it be amazing to invite someone to an important life event and they don't make an excuse of why they can't go? I wish I had someone there for me when I was super lost and felt completely hopeless, slipping into the despair of my situation.

_{My childhood friend Meifonn and Luis. I was invited because he wanted to make sure her birthday was perfect.}

I did have people there for me when I was sad, but when I needed people the most- there was nobody and I only had myself. I had a lot of friends that were only around when my life was going well, and that's normal, no one wants to be involved in a bad situation. But what if I could become that friend I so desperately needed, but for someone else? What would happen?

_{Aryk's Birthday. Everyone here plays Pokemon Go. We're all on different teams.}

I decided that if any part of my life was lacking, then I'm not going to blame or try to change others. Change starts from within, so I will become the things that are missing.

I'm the Method Behind the Madness

"The best way to predict the future, is to create it."
―Peter Drucker

Even if there is no reason to be the friend first, or there's nothing to gain from sharing my resources and time, I'll do these things. I go past my limits if someone needs my help on anything that means the world to them. Here on Steemit, I might have an abnormally low post count, but when I comment- people are intrigued, sometimes confused to receive such in-depth replies from someone unexpected.

You can write any topic, and if you are passionate enough, it shows in your writing. People who really love what they talk about are who I want to know, when I reply to someone's post. I'm not rewarding an article, I'm rewarding the person that wrote it, who was hoping that other people will at least... kind of care about the things they are about. Wouldn't it be nice if someone read your post all the way through, and did their best to understand its significance to you? Someone you don't even know, who wants to know about you. That would make me super happy, so why not do it first and make another person smile?

I'm not obsessed with Topics, I'm obsessed with passion. _{Charizard because I'm fire.}

There are reasons I comment people, and these are the same reasons my friends are still shocked that I answer the phone at 3am. Positive people are contagious, and if I do my absolute best- the people directly around me are going to want to improve themselves as well. My goal is to captivate and inspire others, people inspire me all the time- and it's a hard feeling to shake when others give you hope.

_{Ladies and gentlemen, my roommate and my best friend. (Kevin on left, Evan on right)}

I'm the Silly Ideas, Realized

"Don't forget to have fun."
― Anonymous

A silly idea is one that you care so much about, that it would hurt you if your friends and family don't care about it. No matter how ridiculous the idea or plan sounds, if it's important- we're doing it. I love humoring ideas, because it isn't a normal thing to go all-in on your friend's word... but it should be. I've found myself in so many crazy situations, that no matter what it is- if my friends need help, they might just ask me- I might just know. Being the wildcard helps me to appreciate and love things I couldn't imagine possible for me, and it forces me to challenge myself.

And now, if I have an insane idea, they got my back.

_{Visited my friend in maintenance, rewarded with a roof top view.}

I'm The Blaze That Burns From Within

I may sway, but I don't fall.
― shello

One positive thing I've noticed from what may be straight up blind leaps of faith, is that I'm stronger now than I ever was. When you're striving to be your ideal self, you're going to take many risks, put yourself on the line, and work beyond what you believe your capabilities are. Now, I understand that I have to fail to succeed. No matter how sad or tired I get, it is as fleeting as any other emotion because when I wake up, I reset. There's a part of my soul that cannot be extinguished no matter the hardship, my own internal slice of hope that no one can ever take away from me.

_{At my boss's wedding. I told them we were dabbing.}

I could have written about my hobbies and things I've done, but I'll save that for my autobiography c; By entering this contest, I had to reflect on who I think I am and what I'm about. To be honest, even now I'm not so sure. I do know that I am learning, and the only way is up- but the world is filled with so much life and possibilities, that many things I'll be doing in the future are things I don't even know about yet.

So far, so good.

_{I keep letters and cards from my friends and this wall is right above my computer monitor. Even when I don't remember who I am, there are so many amazing people that remind me.}

Check out my other posts this week!
Let's Eat Sushi - Alaskan King Salmon, so fresh it sparkles! :0
Using Prompts To Write in Advance! My Answer to Writers Block and How To Add Depth to Your Blog

I made myself a name tag today! <3

My free-use Steemit Heart :3

Thank you again @skyleap for this amazing art work c:

My boy Terry, thank you for always giving everyone opportunities wherever you go! I'm also a winner, you only lose when you don't try. It's nice to be reminded sometimes.