It's All a Scary Balancing Act

I haven't been around because I've been on a migraine roller coaster. There are a ridiculous number of migraine medications. One thing I notice is that, despite the number of medications, it seems like it's very rare for people to actually recover from this illness especially once it goes chronic.

Mine is chronic.

This has been living with me since July 7th. By roller coaster, I mean...long aura without headache, ER visits, multiple doc visits, missed work since then because very day is a new level of horrid.

The balance? I am due to start Elavil next...and pray it doesn't make me fat...ter. I just want the pain to end. The balance? It has to help the migraines without aggravating the fibromyalgia.

The goal? Become healthy enough to exercise because that conundrum is that you can't lose weight without eating better and exercising. Losing weight makes fibro feel better. If you don't feel better you can't exercise. You miss work. You lose money. You can't buy better food or you don't eat enough and you're back in that same vicious cycle.

The better goal? Eventually just be an artist, because that's on my own terms and rules. It matches what my body needs. In the meantime? I keep up the cycle and the struggle.

Oh, and here's a kitten. They're like medicine for the soul.