Decadence and Dating

Decadence and Dating

Ever since the the 1960's (you could argue since world war 2, and women entering the work place) Contraception, freedom to choose , relationships in the west, and birth rates, have been declining.

Until recent times, finding a partner was something done in a relatively small social circle – your village, or your cites.
Societies were small, defined by economic status, and geographical locations. Cities were nothing more than a conflagration of small villages, keeping within there own small societal structure, and rarely crossing over to others.

As prosperity increased, so did choice.

People had transport (private and public) for the first time. Worlds were expanded, and so were social circles.
But the price of these expanding social spheres, was less and less attention spent on each individual.
Obviously with the internet, this process of ever increasing contacts with different individuals, has increased exponentially.

Now, back to the village.
Time was spent, on small groups of potential matches.

The time to person / ratio was much much higher - to discern potential matches.
They could make much better decisions.
Purely down to the time factor, spent with potential suitors.

As the time per person decreased, so did the accuracy with which you could find the right person.

Paradoxically, the more people you meet, the less likely you are make wise decisions on those person, based on those meetings.
The time needed to come to these well informed conclusions, just isn't there.

The time previous generation enjoyed. And made good decision because of it.
(their good decisions contributed to all the present day prosperity and decadence, after all)

And again, the internet had launched the time / personal contacts ratio, into the stratosphere.

So, the decadence we are enjoying, and the lack of success for finding partners, has occurred simultaneously.
Our prosperity has made us less fulfilled, as human beings.

Increased choices, also means there isn't as much 'skin in game' for each choice you make.
Less consequence for bad decisions.

Using the village comparison...

I'm not saying these are good or bad, but they are what they are.

Social pressure to conform, and lack of choice to look elsewhere, focused people's attention to make a relationship work.
For love?- sometimes. To make the family unit work – most of the time.
Love being the primary motivation in relationships, even in the west is, a relatively new concept.
Historically marriages have always been strategic-rather than romantic, matches.

With every relationship you start, and end - to move on to another, you chances diminish of making good choices. (time per person ratio)

Spend time focusing, (and not walking away, just because you can,) can lead to very unexpected, and surprising results.

Results that can only be discovered one way.
It's the very essence of time that is necessary ingredient needed, and cant be faked.

Time, just IS.