Just another Random day with nsaine!!!!

As I sit here in front of this blank screen, my thoughts are jumbled, ready to be released.
But like a hoarder, I can not let them go!
My mind will not allow the jumbled thoughts free!
So, I sit here and type slowly filling up this page.
I've reached out to you from the cage of my mind.
Still stuck....
Let them flow, my heart says.
Yet, here I am, still unable to let them go.

When I was a little one, my mother would have so many different people in the home. We barely had our needs met, and yet, there they go. Off to the bars, riding around in fancy cars. I tried to run away so many times, just for the police to bring me home. I wouldn't stay long. No way, was I staying in that house with those people. The insanity of my life.

I left home at 12 years old, basically. I mean, I would go home, but not for long. There was more to life, and I had to find out what and where it all was. I didn't hate my mother, I just didn't think that was the life I wanted to see. She was hurt by my leaving, but at that time, it didn't make much difference to me. I was my own person and I was doing what I wanted and when I wanted, no matter the consequences.

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I had my oldest son, when I was just a boy. I worked hard for so long. Just to show everyone I wasn't like the rest. I made poor choices, but when it came time to be a man, I did, and still do! Still no one can tell me what to do or when to do it.
I am still just as stubborn as I was back then...

20252018=2