I Fell, Again.

"It's just not in my cards."

There are experiences in life that we long for. Sometimes we long for them so bad, the wanting feels like a burden. A jagged hole.

We scratch at it. We poke at it. We turn it upside down to see if anything comes out. Sometimes, they just go away. Sometimes we fall down them.

We watch and look to see if other people have the same kind of wantings. Sometimes we see people who, by a pure chance alignment of the stars, get to have the experiences we want. The experiences we work so hard to subject ourselves to. They just get it. They're in it. They don't know what it's like to want it. They have it. It can feel like the cards are playing a cruel joke.

Avoiding these holes is about striking a balance between wants and needs, striving and contentment, struggle and acceptance.

Never stand still, but be careful not to find your way into a hole and if you feel lost, try shuffling your deck and drawing a new hand. You'll often find a card you didn't even know you wanted. You may even find the card really was in your deck after all, it just didn't look the way you thought it would.